uNtItLed undecided

The Perfect Vodka Gimlet

2011-06-08T18:48:00.012-05:00

Complaining about the Snain rightfully brought me 3 days in a row of 90+ degree heat! What better way is there to cool off than with a refreshing vodka gimlet.

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The Vodka Gangsta Gimlet

Step 1: Find the right glass, not too big, not a martini glass.

Step 2: Fill glass almost completely with crushed ice.
**Smashing flatish, big ice cubes with the back of a spoon in your hand with confidence ("tha-whack!") works best - something about the hand skin cells just makes the drink.

Step 3: Fill glass almost to the bottom of the top layer of ice with vodka, do not cover the ice, make sure there's a little room left (though not much).

Step 4: Skewer a few olives on an olive pick and add a teaspoon or two of olive juice if you like them dirrrrty (I do).

Step 5: Add just a little Rose's Lime Juice. As my Dad says: "You can always add more, if you need it, but you can't take it out!"

Step 6: Stir contents with your olive pick and taste to determine if vodka to Rose's ratio is appropriate.
**If you're a big boy or girl your drink should only have the slightest green tint, if it's glowing green then baby, you aren't ready for this.

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Why is it that describing this drink is as easy as explaining how to make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, yet rarely in the history of the world has a bartender made one correctly?

Snain

2011-04-19T17:23:00.006-05:00

This is ridiculous. April Frickin' 19th.

(Turn up volume to hear the Thunder Snain @ 0:05)

At one point today, it was snaining, thundering and the sun was breaking through the cloud layer. This is Wisconsin and I love the wildness of a good Spring storm, or even a Winter storm, but a Winter storm in Spring is a little much. I know they call a mix of snow + rain = sleet, yet Doug and I have decided that it's not always accurate. Sometimes it is snow AND rain AT THE SAME TIME = Snain. I have also witnessed Slail, not sure that's an experience everyone needs to have in their lifetime. I probably jinxed us all in February by talking about "not taking this for granted as Spring will be here before you know it" but c'mon Spring is here and this is ridiculous.

Another day in paradise...

2011-03-23T20:46:00.006-05:00

Mexico makes it so easy to take pictures. This is my favorite tree in the world, high praise.

Just a touch of color.

These guys only opened in the morning, they made me wait for em' (waiting has never been so enjoyable).

A bouquet of color

2011-02-26T20:20:00.008-06:00

This is what color looks like

When I look at pictures of tropical scenes during this time of the year, I am always amazed by the amount of color in them. I know this is because our Winter scenes here, although often beautiful, can be on the grayscale side of things. I've been feeling a little stressed out by life lately, so I thought I'd post a splash of color and remind myself about some things that I'm thankful for:

My always early bouquet of flowers from Doug for Valentine's Day
5 years with the love of my life and planning our future together
I have a tropical vacation to look forward to
The best family and friends in the world
I'm finally enjoying my job again even if it is a little overbooked
I used my rewards points to get a little food processor
I've discovered toasted walnut butter again and more (I heart you, food processor)
Spinning class - you literally kick my butt/crotch, but I've grown me some hamstrings

The long Winter, the local political corruption and having a cold that makes me lose my voice off and on (when I'm completing 200 phone interviews at work!) have hurt my perspective on life a little. However, after watching a documentary on what Egypt alone had to go through and knowing what the Middle East and North Africa are currently enduring for freedom, I know I have never truly suffered in my entire life. I think it is important to remember what we are thankful for and also what we need and what we don't - but that's a post for another day.

Winter Storm 2011

2011-02-08T20:52:00.013-06:00

Sidewalk Avalanche!

One week ago tonight, Doug and I were experiencing the blizzard of the season. I thought we might be nuts to go out in the thick of it, but it was awesome. The sky was a pinkish bronze color and the snow was whipping my face so furiously it felt like a micro-derm abrasion and a swirly all at once. Of course I couldn't resist yelling almost soundlessly to Doug in the wind "We have to GO BACK!" (thank you LOST). After a few minutes outside, I was startled when I found myself thinking "You can't take this for granted as Spring will be here before you know it."

Almost a Cotton Candy Steamboat tree

We made it on a walk around the block that night, mostly based on memory since our senses were inferior, and eventually settled in a semi-sheltered part of the park. It is hard to describe what it feels like to be experiencing something for the first time with the knowledge that you may never experience it again. I tried to make mental notes about all of the energy spinning around us in the storm - the dark trees swaying against the pink/bronze sky, the sound of the loudest wind you've ever heard and the snow sculpting a new form for everything. Awesome.

Desktop is not accessible

2011-01-23T00:18:00.003-06:00

I recently lost my desktop. "The file or directory is corrupt and unreadable" I've typed that into so many search engines that it is burned into my brain. I haven't had to preform a system restore in quite a few years so I'm a little rusty when it comes to computer insubordination.

When I discovered I was unable to access my desktop I was surprised, concerned and slightly elated. Surprised - usually I bring on cumbersome updates and RAM sluggishness but I couldn't recall what I had possibly done in my old age to result in such a consequence? Concerned - what did I have on my desktop?... a couple of dated work docs.. some short cuts... Ooo, and my "Blog" folder, damn! ..was there anything in there?? Elated - I have to immerse myself again in computer language geekery to find multiple mediocre/semi-plausible solutions to my problem!! This makes me feel useful, I can't explain it.

The solution, thanks to another PC sufferer (what, you're surprised none of the technical product or operating system sites could offer one bit of helpful information?) was to create a new user and transfer (and by my choice: fully back up on external flash drives) all of my files to that new user who does have access to a desktop = genius. Customizing the new ME has been almost as much fun as buying a new computer. Oh and thank baby Jesus I did back up my old uNtItLeD titles here for the ole blog, all is not lost.

Thank you for all of the challenges, computer. I look forward to the day when we all stop pining for the older version of the software, email program or features we used to love that is now amazingly absent from the "upgraded" version. I appreciate the reminder that dealing with technology is still as infuriating and cumbersome as dealing with people.

2010-12-19T17:18:00.007-06:00

In effort to complete my journal reading quest I needed to find journal #2 (yes, they are all numbered: #1 through #5, a few have page numbers, and some grammar has been corrected over the years with the exception of "wierd" and "yesturday" - that one really bugs me!). Anyway, I was fervently searching (and organizing, I can't help myself) my parents' house for #2 and I found this lovely picture of me and my sweet Scruffy. I found it only a few days after we had to put her down at approximately age 20. She lived a long life, very well I think, and we didn't let her suffer. I feel good about giving her a nice morning and a dignified death that Mom, Dad and I were very present for, we owed her that much at least.

The journal reading has been therapeutic in Scruffy's absence as I found the entry of the first time I saw her, the day we adopted her and thought she might be pregnant: "Mom told Dad and he said he wouldn't make me give her up!" and countless other entries where I'm writing outside (or inside in my room with my smuggled-in companion) and enjoying her company as my "little buddy." Luckily, we also got one last video of her this Summer when we were testing out Doug's new camera and accidentally had it on video mode.

When I was 15

2010-12-02T11:13:00.003-06:00

I've been reading my old journals lately, although acutely embarrassing at times, it has overall been an enjoyable activity. I particularly enjoy the high school entries - they're fun, funny, and have an overwhelmingly positive outlook on life (how cute). This entry is right after my 15th Birthday. I am grateful to be reminded of how spoiled I've always been when it comes to my family and friends! (Doug is currently crying in the kitchen while he chops onions for my special Birthday crock pot meal tonight. What a man!).

Noncompeting Views

2010-10-02T16:43:00.012-05:00

I love Fall - it marks the end of my favorite season, but it is still so awesome. The start of the school year always makes my heart beat fast for all of the incoming college freshman (I'm currently listening to mixed CDs from my freshman year. They are terrible and I am thoroughly enjoying them). It is a great season for reflection.

Vail, CO -2010-

Of course it is easy to reflect when you can visit a setting like this. Nevertheless, there are many places close to home to give some perspective as well.

Straight Lake State Park, WI

The mountains are breathtaking and the people who live there are so nice regardless of the season. I think the sunshine puts them in a perpetual good mood... but I can't live without water. The lakes, the rivers, the ponds - heck, I've even been known to spend some time in a puddle if the moment and the mud was right. Enjoy the season as it is on display for our consideration/delight/observation.

Piece 'o' Crap Pontoon

2010-07-22T18:56:00.006-05:00

I love this Piece 'o' Crap Pontoon. The first time we went out on it, I put our cellphones in a sealed Tupperware in case we went overboard. I didn't know what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised/relieved. Not only did this threadbare, moss-covered pontoon work - it was a solid, albeit soiled, piece of machinery! This boat has continued to be one of the many highlights of our cabin weekends. We have shamelessly talked about a shiny, new pontoon boat on more than one occasion, but this piece 'o' crap has really grown on me. I was scared to go out on it the first time and now I'm attached to it. It made me look at the value of something in a different way. The value of fun.

Sunset Cruise July 2010

Posting Fool in Love

2010-06-11T15:45:00.005-05:00

This pic was taken in Red Rock Canyon just a little ways off of the Vegas strip. What?! We didn't just drink and gamble in Las Vegas?! Nope, there are actually other sights to explore, believe it or not, though I will say that the drinking, gambling and the shows were quite enjoyable. I couldn't resist putting D + S in this nature-made heart, what a sap (a cute, creative sap at least right?).

Dreaming on a High-Speed Super Highway

2010-06-10T20:08:00.006-05:00

Yep, finally paying more than $15 a month for internet... well, actually they haven't billed me yet! The lack of stress waiting for pages to load and having to speed blog while crossing my fingers that we won't lose the signal, is quite nice. In fact, I even considered waiting to finish this post until after my current favorite show SYTYCD? is over, just because I can, but I've decided I'm gonna do this how I'm used to doin' it - quick and dirty. Stay tuned sports fans. I'm off to live vicariously through my SYTYCD? dancers just like I like to do with great singers, professional ice skaters, gymnasts and the occasional supermodel.

Washington D.C. Work Trip

2010-04-11T15:09:00.007-05:00

Having a packed conference - Tuesday night last week we had a meeting from 6:30pm - 8:30pm, Wednesday morning we had another that started at 7:00am - does not allow for fully taking in such a beautiful city. Nonetheless, it was impossible to ignore the gorgeous cherry blossoms, flowers, and 90 degree heat.

I did get to go to the National D.C. Zoo and found a 1/2 hour to go to my favorite beauty product store - LUSH. Attending sessions and co-facilitating meetings is not what I'm used to for work trips (translation: I was totally spoiled in the past!), but I am grateful that I was able to get a taste of D.C. and that taste was absolutely delicious.
I hope to get back to Washington D.C. to at least see some historic sites and spend more than 48 hours in the city! It would be wonderful if I could come back during cherry blossom season (without attending an annoying conference) and perfect if I could stay at the quaint B&B where we were treated like family and served like royalty.

Giving Back

2010-03-25T17:28:00.004-05:00

I made this "granny glasses" chain for a co-worker who was lacking a pink chain for her readers. She actually had lasik surgery for her nearsightedness 10 years ago, but now requires readers to see details up close (that's part of the deal - when you get old you can't see close up, even having laser vision correction won't stop age from getting you).

Break Your Eye Open

2010-02-25T18:26:00.010-06:00

...and that's what they do to them! It sounds kind of crazy - and it is - but it's also pretty awesome. I've been trying to think of the best way to describe it and I've been taking a lot of notes lately for work (focus groups! argh!) so I'm just going to break it down for you.

WARNING: This description, and laser vision correction in general, is not for the faint of heart. I began telling my old roommate, Becky, about it and she said: "Steph you are going to have to stop. I'm getting nauseous and dizzy just hearing about it." She was driving at the time so I did stop.

Preparation

I went for a free consultation to decide if I was a good candidate for laser vision correction, this is crucial as there are people who are not good candidates. After scheduling my surgery I had to mark one week out for when to stop wearing my soft contacts. This was annoying, see here. You need a driver for the day of the surgery and the follow-up on the day after. No solid foods 4 hours before the surgery.

Surgery

OK, on to the good stuff! The longest part of the whole procedure consisted of talking to the nurse, having my blood pressure taken, and taking a Valium. The blood pressure cuff wrapped around my arm so many times that it started ripping off when the nurse tried to get my BP, I thought my bicep was so huge it was busting it off. She had to switch to the "Small Adult" blood pressure cuff :( Didn't think much of the Valium... until I retold the aforementioned bulging blood pressure bicep story. Anyway, you rest in a chair for a few minutes with numbing drops in your eyes until they take you into the operating room. More numbing drops, they tell you about the surgery and then they tape back one of your eyelids and put in a device to hold your eye open, mildly uncomfortable. Then the first arm of the machine comes over your eye and it makes the cuts in your eye. This machine was pressing intensely hard on my cheekbone which I'm not sure would be true for everyone. That was definitely uncomfortable but the cutting itself didn't faze me, I thought it was rather interesting and it was more like I was watching it from underwater than from my own eye. Then that arm goes away and the other arm comes over to do the laser correction, much better on the cheekbone. This is where they tell you it will smell slightly of burning hair, I remember thinking it wasn't as gross as that but I can no longer recall my brilliant new description of the stench. You have to stare at a sparkly light for that part but that isn't hard or uncomfortable. Once the laser is done, it looks like the surgeon is swabbing the flaps of your eye back in place, but that doesn’t take long and doesn’t hurt. Then they do everything the same for the other eye. My eyes had a pretty big difference in nearsightedness, which the surgeon said was as unusual as someone having a size 8 foot and a size 5 foot (he actually called it "quirky"), so my left eye required more laser and more time, but still that was only about 65 seconds total for the laser correction. Oh, and I thought all of my eyelashes ripped out when they pulled the tape off of my eyelids, but I had Doug check as soon as we got home and I did have eyelashes left, whew.

Recovery

The surgeon had me read the clock after I sat up from the surgery and I did pretty good, crazy analog timepieces. Then he told me that soon the numbing drops would wear off and it would feel like someone threw gravel in my eyes. I would compare it more to what it felt like when I got pepper sprayed which I liked thinking of better because I knew I could handle it and thinking about the description of gravel in my eyes seemed much too violent. They gave me sunglasses which I pretty much wore the rest of the day/evening. I had to eat something when we got home and then I immediately took 3 Ibuprofen (OK and 1 leftover muscle relaxer) and took a nap. They tell you to nap as those first 3-4 hours can be a little rough and it’s good for your eyes to rest. My first nap was under 2 hours and when I woke up the stinging was already much less which made me feel better. Every time I woke up after that, it just continued to get better and better. By the next day, the swelling of my eyes had mostly disappeared and although I was still sensitive to light, I felt great. My delinquent left eye has had some inflammation, but the surgeon has kept me coming in to follow up on it and though it is a little slower to heal and become crystal clear (due to more than double the laser), it is making progress and with my right eye seeing perfect and feeling perfect my overall vision is 20/20. You have to put drops in your eyes for a week and we are continuing some drops for another couple of weeks in that left eye to help it out. You also can’t wear eye make-up for a week, which I’m actually enjoying as without contacts or make-up it saves me quite a bit of time getting ready.

I told the surgeon that I am still getting used to Perfect Vision Freedom as at night I can’t help thinking “Now, aren’t I supposed to take out my contacts?” and the first time I drove I couldn’t believe I was driving without contacts or glasses as I haven’t done that since… well, ever, considering I started needing contacts in middle school! Overall, as you can probably tell, I am thrilled with the results. If you don’t have that bad of vision and/or you don’t mind wearing contacts or glasses then the surgery might not be for you. I’ve also discovered that a lot of people (Becky) are really freaked out about the thought of anything coming within 1 ft. of their eyes let alone breaking their eyes open and correcting their vision with lasers. For me, it is already life changing and I think my only regret will be that I didn’t do it sooner.

2/4/10 Evening of Contacts

2010-02-04T18:00:00.000-06:00

5:52pm Well, I never actually got to the whole "punching the pillow" thing as I laughed after the "screaming into the pillow" thing and didn't really have the flair left for it. Perspective is settling in, and it's pretty clear with these contacts on! I've set the date for my rescheduled eye surgery and that's good even if they won't tell me my appointment time until THE TUESDAY BEFORE! Whoa caps, settle. It's just that I feel like a date who has been stood-up and now I'm not so sure I trust the rain check! So, I'm not quite over it, but I am working on it.

2/4/10 Afternoon: Surgery Canceled

2010-02-04T13:46:00.000-06:00

1:38pm I had a dream that my eye surgery would be canceled, but I didn't tell anyone because that's just silly. Dreams can come true - they called 2 hours before my surgery to tell me that the doctor had an emergency and we would have to reschedule. There has been a lot building up to this - emotions, glasses-wearing... I am extremely disappointed. On a positive note, I can't get in again for a couple of weeks so I am now back to contacts for a few days and that is almost like having perfect vision, or at least what I can remember of Perfect Vision Freedom. I am contemplating going back to work today, but I think tomorrow will be punishment enough as I had originally planned on having Friday off too. Eating some lunch and putting in my contacts has slightly improved my mood, though I may have to go scream into a pillow.. and then punch it.

2/4/10 Morning of Eye Surgery

2010-02-04T09:28:00.000-06:00

9:23am Today is the day. I am incredibly excited with only a dash of nerves. My surgery is set for this afternoon which means I will have to stop eating in less than an hour and I just had breakfast about a 1/2 hour ago. "Lunch" may only be a piece of toast. I want to take my last shower for the next couple of days (and apply no makeup = ah!) but first I am going to do some cleaning. My parents are going to hang out while I sleep after the surgery and my Mom is thrilled about her "Evening as an Urban Couple" - I will be leaving out our favorite takeout menus (favorite entrees circled) with various post-its attached to suggested reading material should they get bored. I've thought about leaving instructions for playing video games, although I don't think they make a big enough post-it for the instructions my video game loving/technologically impaired father would require. I will, however, set out the good whiskey and vodka (no instructions required there) so they feel at home :)

The end is NEAR, the end is in SIGHT(ED)

2010-01-21T17:34:00.007-06:00

In about two weeks, I will once again enjoy Perfect Vision Freedom. Right now I am suffering through the uncomfortable feeling of constantly being pinched on the nose and behind the ears, lovely. To cheer myself up, I have decided to make a list of things I am looking forward to when my potential is no longer hindered by the limitations rendered by glasses and contacts.

Top Ten +1 Things I am Looking Forward to with Perfect Vision Freedom

If I am attacked on the street I won't have to worry about losing my glasses.*
If I am attacked (or need to change a tampon) in the night I won't have to worry about finding my glasses.*
I will be able to correctly read the clock at night without sliding as close to the nightstand as possible, yet staying on the bed, while closing my left eye (the worst one) and squinting with my right eye.
I will be able to open my eyes underwater!
I will be able to play video games that require intense concentration, and thus - less blinking, without my contacts drying out and mushing around, demanding bastards.
I won't have to deal with the whole snowflakes-all-over-my-glasses-and-still-carrying-on-normally thing.
I won't be robbed at the optometrist once a year for $300+ in contacts and glasses.
I won't have to force my puffy eyes open every morning to pop in huge contact lenses.
I won't have to put my face as close as possible to the mirror while applying make-up, see photo.
My eyes will finally be their natural color: green.
Lastly, If I want to spontaneously take a trip, stay over night somewhere, or have my flight canceled I won't have to worry about contact solution, a contact case, or glasses.

FREEDOM people. It's all about the FREEDOM.

*I am not in fear of being attacked, I just like to be prepared and it is difficult to be prepared when one has to find the thing that gives them sight (glasses) while sightless (seriously nearsighted).

The Snow Storm that Broke my Back

2009-12-19T13:00:00.004-06:00

Those girls across the street are taking photos with the snow person Doug and I made at 9:30pm the night before. I was so tickled that they were taking pictures with her/him (we didn't give her/him boobs, I thought her face was kind of feminine, but I'd rather leave her/him gender neutral to make things less complicated). I'm not happy to admit that rolling the snow for her/him probably started my journey to the worst back pain hilarity that ensued on the afternoon of our snow day.
I like this picture because it focused on the droplets on our window and reflects our Christmas tree lights, which makes the giant, snow-laden evergreen outside look like it has been decorated with lights.

Two Trees

2009-11-19T18:35:00.005-06:00

I can't stop staring at this picture, so much so that I made it my background. Today, when I glanced at it from an odd angle I decided I had to turn it into a black and white (more accurately: a sepia) and I still find it hard to take my eyes off of it. Nice work nature.

The Non-Season

2009-11-08T17:22:00.003-06:00

Today was wonderfully warm outside, however, most of the trees have lost their leaves, the grass is still a lush green, it gets dark around 5pm and there is not one bit of ice on any lake, river or puddle. I am feeling slightly (albeit delightedly) confused about the season. It also appears my computer and our internet are confused. My computer because it is working relatively quickly, and the internet.. well, just because it's working! I spent the better part of the last hour updating the gadgets, colors and title of my blog trying not to get my hopes up that I'd actually get to post something new. Alright, and I was procrastinating because for some reason breaking the ice and telling my blog we're going to post again makes one apprehensive. I got used to months on end of having little permanent record of my internal madness? monotony? masochist? I even thought about picking up the old paper journal again because I do need some outlet for all of the disorder in my brain. In the end I decided that the whole point of writing is to have someone read it and the maintenance of my little space on the interweb fulfills a creative itch I need to scratch.

Fair Fickle Friend

2009-04-06T19:04:00.007-05:00

I've talked about my amaryllis before (see two-headed beast) and I can't resist taking multiple pictures of it again. This year she gave just one stalk, but like last time, erring on the side of the unusual she has 4 blooms. I am always learning something new about this plant, and it continues to amaze me with it's rapid growth and rich red color, you can almost taste and hear it when you walk into the room. I can't stop looking at the thing.

~~~

Becky Bag

2009-03-23T17:54:00.004-05:00

When I return from Mexico, I like to blog about something that requires me showcasing my tan hands (see bracelet modeling). My nice tan is currently fading, however, I took this picture right when I got back with intentions to post (see shitty internet) and am finally feeling guilty enough to attempt it. Plus, the internet gods seem to be smiling down at me - must be the near hour I sacrificed today reinstalling my internet radio and restarting game #11651 of Freecell until I beat it.

The point is (there must be a point mustn't there? I just wanted to type "mustn't") that I bought this bag in Mexico in honor of my old roomie, Becky. She had a similarly shaped, and colored bag that was covered in numerous buttons that gave much of the same impression as this bag. My bag is made out of candy wrappers, which I instantly thought was sweet, and I kept seeing these bags are all over Playa del Carmen. I went back to a lady I bought a hat from, who had a cute baby on her back, and was attempting to hagle when Doug just gave her what she'd asked for on only the second try. We probably spent too much on it, but I had to have it. I'm not a purse person by any means, but once my brain had tied it to memories of Becky it was all over!

Riviera Maya Paradise

2009-03-01T13:26:00.010-06:00

Doug and I had a wonderful time on our Mexican vacation. It was so great that I even enjoyed doing my laundry today because of the lingering scent of sunscreen and beach. Here are some highlights. I would strongly encourage everyone to take a vacation here, especially if you live in a cold climate, it is good for the soul.

Tulum - Mayan ruins

Cozumel - Carnival Dancers

Be Nice

2009-01-13T16:52:00.002-06:00

Sounds simple enough.

I've commented before about how funny I think it is when extreme weather causes strangers to strike up random conversations. It happened to me three times today, little 15 second interactions about the temp, the blinding sunshine, the multiple winter accessories that render me unrecognizable, and each time I tried to come up with something positive to say. Our landlord always has something cheery to comment on when we run into him outside, and just one little happy statement can take a bit of the edge off and make me see thing a bit more brightly.

Which brings me to my title: Be Nice. We all go to bat for our families, friends, colleagues, neighbors, but when it comes to complete strangers were quicker to hold up a middle finger to another driver than we are to try and put a smile on someone's face.

I think the extreme-weather-random-conversation phenomenon is a way that people reach out to each other. A way to say "Hey, I'm hanging in there with you." People need that, and not just when it hurts to breath it's so cold, but also when they are sad, upset, lonely, crabby or just plain forgetting to see the bright side.

December, where did you go?

2008-12-30T16:48:00.001-06:00

My absence this month has not been due to the busy Holiday Season, though that would be a good excuse. Instead, my lack of blogging is due to lack of internet, or rather, lack of non-shitty internet. Non-shitty internet has been an unobtainable enigma since my dear Mother first ran phone cords all over our living room and connected our computer to a box with blinking lights called a "modem" ...but ah, that is a rant for another day, back to December.

December began with a Birthday message:
No, Doug wasn't drunk when he wrote this. I was aware that moisture from the shower could warp a dry-erase message like this, yet we still found it quite amusing that the message was so mangled after just a couple of showers.

December began wrapping up with some Christmas Cheer:From McF to "The Grove" to Minnesota and back again, we've already spent some quality time with family and friends this month, and hope to spend more celebrating the New Year this week. (P.S. - I love and miss you, Carly. Keep our NYE tradition alive!)

(P.P.S. - I began composing this post almost 24 hours ago, it took that long for my internet to come through!)

Advanced Aging

2008-11-30T18:44:00.007-06:00

My approaching Birthday combined with the events of this past week have caused me to reflect on aging. Usually, I can barely bring myself to go out on Friday nights and if I do it’s a struggle to stay awake past 10pm regardless of how many or how few drinks I’ve had. Over time I have associated this inability to behave normally with the fact that I am getting older, every day, every hour, every minute (blehck!).

Alas! My advancing age is not the culprit – this past Friday, after a week of activities plus Thanksgiving, I was excited to go out and felt my energy reserves at an all time high. My party mood continued through the evening, through multiple beers and until bar time even. I realized that perhaps my 23 year old state of mind (21 my tolerance wasn’t at peak, and 22 I wasn’t yet a seasoned partier) was due to the double digits on the clock when I finally got out of bed on Friday …at 10:45am! Getting older isn’t the problem, getting UP is. For further evidence of my conclusion: I slept in past 10am on Saturday and managed to not only make it to bar time again (two nights in a row), but to feel slightly sad that it had come so soon.

Unfortunately, the whole “being a contributing member of society” thing prevents me from sleeping in when I would like to act my age, but at least I know when I choose pajamas over going out, it's not because I'm a dried up old bag (that one’s for you, Bro).

4 Seasons in 1 Week

2008-11-09T15:10:00.005-06:00

Temps warming into the 70s at the beginning of the week, after a taste of cold before that. Then, a little rain and BOOM bye bye leaves. Currently, 32 degrees with occasional flurries. Neat. Guess we couldn't skip winter altogether, bummer. I can't quite believe everything that has happened in a week's time. I don't know if my head/body has completely processed it all: 2 nights of Halloween, 1 life cut short at age 22, 1 vote for a winning presidential candidate, 4 seasons. I did some therapy for myself by rearranging the 2nd bedroom/office/workout room and cleaning it like crazy. I'm so happy with the change, hopefully it will help me sort through the jumble in my brain as well.

During my extreme bedroom reorganization, I was walking by the window when this mass came flying towards me and crashed into the glass with an explosion of feathers. I almost fainted, but when I caught my breath I began scanning the ground for survivors. There were more feathers whirling about than snow and I was starting to fear the worst. Then I saw the bird, a bigger bird, grey in color, that I first assumed was some pigeon or dove, but the seriousness of his facial structure made me think he was possibly a young hawk. He started to wriggle around and I wondered if he injured a foot, then the form in his feet appeared from amongst the leaves on the ground. I'm pretty sure it was a smaller bird! We exchanged a few more gazes, mine puzzled, his somehow guilty, and then he took of with his prize in his feet. I'm not sure what to think of that...

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN

2008-11-01T15:57:00.005-05:00

From: Dexter and Deb Morgan

Hands down, best costume. Ever. It was Doug's idea to go as Dexter and Deb. I was flattered that he though I could pull Deb off (she's pretty hot) but it totally worked! We got recognized in seconds on State St. - some sexy something girlie girls freaked out about Dex, but when they saw Deb, they practically mauled me! They were so excited and insisted on taking a picture with me, they made my night. No one has ever been that pumped to see me before, it was really great actually. I wasn't sure about going out, or dressing up, but the girlie girls made it worth it. Trying to decide what all the costumes and stripper outfits were, was fun too as always. This is the only commentary I'm making on this, but a "sexy" crayon? Seriously, ladies??

Ah, more mayhem tonight, I do love Halloween (when the Madison PD doesn't pepper spray me, at least)!

Goodbye Summer

2008-10-07T19:37:00.003-05:00

I'm excited for the fall colors, of course... but recently I've found myself quantifying the amount of green left. This day it was still about 95% green. The instinctual urge to hibernate is kicking in and I'm having a hard time convincing myself to leave the Covers Cave. What if we could sleep through Winter and then stay up all Summer? For me, it would be tempting.

sitting on an ice pack

2008-09-21T19:12:00.004-05:00

Fell on my butt, directly on the left butt bone. I was cleaning out my closet, ha ha ha no really I was, and I was sitting on a stool that my college friends dubbed "The Butt Chair" as it is just big enough for your butt crack and that's about it. It should be called "The Butt Crack Chair." Anyway, I had already slid off of the damned thing once leaning too far forward. So when I crashed the second time (butt bone slammed down on wood floor and The Butt Chair smacked me in the back just for fun) I thought the urge to cry came from feeling so stupid for bringing this on myself twice.

I seriously sat there and contemplated whether or not the humiliation was enough to warrant tears. Well, as it turns out, the throbbing pain won me over and if I can't sit correctly on the toilet for a week again - like the time in college when I thought I could safely jump out of my 8-foot high, lofted bed, but instead, harpooned my ass on the corner of my desk chair (what is it with my desk chairs??) - I will be literally pissed!

Summer 2008

2008-09-07T16:15:00.015-05:00

East Coast to West CoastSand Dunes - Cape Cod

Vancouver/Seattle Work Trip - Langley, WA

Sea Star - Low Tide, Seattle, WA

Jen's Bach Party - Tomahawk, WI

Saving the best for last:

POC Pontoon Boat at Doug's Cabin. I didn't bring my camera on our first trip out because I kind of thought the boat might sink. It may be a moldy old beast but it's a sturdy bastard. No sinking and lots of fun + curious stares.

Dazey

2008-04-09T16:41:00.005-05:00

Moooove over plant, Space Cow coming through! I've finally painted my cow, from Doug. I'm not quite sure if she's done, but she's testing things out for now. Yes, I know I didn't paint actual daisies on her, but I like to name my cows obvious things because I believe they're rather obvious animals, and I can only paint to my ability. When I befriended some cows growing up, we named them things like "Chocolate Milk" and "Moo Moo" so there you have it (the misspelling of her name is just to make it interesting for her in school).

A Summer List

2008-03-25T19:14:00.004-05:00

1. Dry grass for laying down blankets
2. Sunlight through leafy tree branches
3. The taste of beer outside in the sun
4. The "thwap!" of bean bags on the boards
5. My first blast of chlorinated water up the nose
6. Toughening up my wussy winter feet
7. Evenings that begin at the Union
8. Breezes through open windows
9. Falling asleep in the sun
10. Earth/Soul-cleansing downpours

I can FEEL it

2008-03-10T21:29:00.003-05:00

I frickin' love daylight savings! So what you have to get up an hour early (go to bed an hour early, dumbass) IT IS LIGHT IN THE EVENING!!! I can't even explain what a difference it has made for me. I had all of this energy after work and even though I wasn't outside, I felt like I should keep busy because it was light out and it was awesome. Like now, for example, it's 9:30 AND I've had some wine, tends to make me sleepy, and actually I couldn't be more refreshed. Heck, I haven't even changed out of my work clothes... oh my, what is wrong with me?? Dan always gives Doug & I crap for changing into our pajamas at 5:30, today I don't think I'll change into them until I go to bed!!

I made a deal with Mother Nature, yesterday, I said how 'bout no more days with a high under freezing? and looking at the 7-day forecast it looks like she may be holding up her end of the bargain.

Mom and I should take a day off to bust up ice and watch the rushing, melted snow rivers (I'm sorta' serious).

The dress I want

2008-02-29T07:28:00.003-06:00

I need a new dress for the impending Wedding Season. I made this dress in paint and now I will most likely be unsuccessful finding one I like because of this drawing. Hopefully, I won't get too nauseous sifting through all of the "in style" psychedelic prints out there. Why won't anyone sell me a simple, classy dress (preferably in dark teal!)??

Seven Inches

2008-02-26T19:42:00.005-06:00

Is the diameter of the blooms on my amaryllis (what? ..get your head outta' the gutter).

This plant is insane and beautiful! A little over a year ago, Laurel gave me this amaryllis bulb for my birthday. I don't have a ton of plant experience, however, I'd like to think that some of my Mom's green thumb was passed on to me.

Well, this bulb grew and grew AND GREW, but only leaves! Ginormous, albeit healthy, green leaves and no flowers. It became impossible to move and, I'll admit - I was ready to kick it to the curb. Finally, the leaves started to die off in the Fall and, per my research, I found out I had to wait for each 3 foot leaf to yellow, wither, and die completely before I could chop it, so that the bulb could absorb all of the nutrients, how pleasant.

Apparently, sometimes the prissy amaryllis does not have enough "energy" to bestow flowers.

I brought out the bulb last month, after a little bit of water and TLC = voila, and holy shit I have two stalks with blooms! This picture was taken yesterday; two more flowers have opened since and I'll have a total of six flowers when it is done blooming.

I couldn't be more pleased with the results. I'm trying to resist (unsuccessfully) taking pictures of it every day but I just can't get over how exciting it is to watch my amaryllis take shape (finally!). "She" is brightening my last week of February and constantly reminding me that Spring is on the way.

Blue Tree

2008-02-12T21:07:00.004-06:00

There is a lot of blue on this website, lately...not sure how I feel about that. One thing I do feel, which is slightly strange, is not blue myself! I've been talking about the weather with just about everyone recently, mostly because I get such a kick out of what a "hot" topic it is, but I've started to notice something slightly troublesome = people seem depressed. Even the peppiest snow supporters have become a little overwhelmed with the ever-accumulating white stuff, and it's not a good sign if I'm the one telling people to cheer up about Winter weather. The way I see it, we're almost out of the woods. We're done with January, and almost halfway done with February (March is on the way, think MARCH!). Plus, hasn't anyone noticed the days getting longer?!! I have, as I'm actually getting out of bed reasonably on time. The worst is over, right?

Well, if you're still not convinced, my best advice as a fellow (former) SAD sufferer is to stay busy and stay active. Find a project, however mundane (sorting clothes for goodwill) or ambitious (Origami- I made my first decent crane!), it will help pass the sometimes endless days and bring you that much closer to SPRING.

Don't let your blue turn gray.

From One Snowy City to Another...

2008-02-02T14:55:00.000-06:00

Steamboat, CO

We got back from our ski vacation a little over a week ago, and although we unpacked fairly efficiently, we were not in possession of all of our photos, thus, the delay in posting. This is one of my favorite shots, what I like to call the "cotton candy trees" since their powder-weighted branches look like giant cones of cotton candy treat. Here I am in action - I finally felt like I was in control by our third day, which was so fun, and such a relief. I actually started taking on some little jumps, I did some tree-skiing (= I skied around one tree), and I almost took out a bush! We had absolutely beautiful snow in Steamboat, and skiing down a mountain was something I've never done and feel truly privileged to have had the opportunity to experience.We have Doug's Mama to thank for such a lovely trip. It was so nice of her to invite us along on her yearly ski vacation. Usually, Jayna is the one in charge of keeping up my ski legs! (Spring Ski Trip, Jay? ..hint, hint)Heck, I'm usually a tropical vacation kind of gal (who knew?!), but we actually got to do two of my favorite warm destination activities: cocktails on the balcony - I think I may have gotten some sun :), and swimming - in the condo's heated pool & in the fabulous natural hot springs. Unfortunately, we don't have any pics from the hot springs as cameras were not allowed due to the "clothing optional" rule. Absolutely phenomenal.

Happy Sepia New Year

2008-01-12T15:27:00.001-06:00

Happy 2008!

The non-perfect pics are my favorite kind. I decided to do a little slideshow of Me and Shmem here - I really felt that it best depicted our inability to take a picture together on New Year's Eve. Plus, Doug got a new MacBook and it has been making my computer feel inferior, so I've been forced to play with my puter, and it's fun features, to make myself feel better.

Cattails in a Snow Globe

2007-12-20T20:59:00.000-06:00

Dreaming of Summer, paradise, water, and cattails. I used to imagine tropical vacations and exotic destinations to help myself fall asleep at night. Then in college, once we moved from home, I found myself being drawn to images of my pond - my secluded haven - to lull myself away from reality: laying in the dead grass on the shore during the first days of Spring, docking the paddle boat on the hidden-from-view side with my radio and a book for hours, fishing on the dock with homemade hooks from modified pins, ice skating choreographed routines to my mixed tapes. That pond was beautiful year round, and always provided a needed distraction from the "real world." I think not having that now is what makes it so hard at this time of the year. When the days are short and the darkness is conducive to sleeping 10+ hours a day, I have a hard time finding a place where I can escape and I guess meditate, truthfully. Granted, there are numerous locations where I can find water in Madison, but none of them are secret and most of them are regulated by other people who have the privilege of deciding things like when the ice is safe for ice skating (which is apparently never, even in this North Pole simulation). So for now, I will try to work on being thankful that I have this lovely piece of artwork, made by my talented mother, with my soul as the inspiration. If I can't find true peace with myself right now, at least I can use some memories to get a sense of what it felt like.

SADDDDDDDDD

2007-12-14T17:06:00.000-06:00

I am feeling my Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’m finally admitting it this week because I have a minor, but persistent, cold and that combined with cabin fever has made me dream of the tropics. There is all sorts of white fluffy stuff to play in out there, however, my persistent checks of the city news releases have only revealed: “PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL of the outdoor ice rinks remain closed due to thin ice”!!! Plus, not feeling 100% makes curling up in my warm bed for hours all the more appealing & unavoidable. I told my Bro that I’m actually missing cable and seriously considering caving in for the first time – which means I need to go pick up my books at the library and start filling my mind with something other than COLD.

Someone's not happy...

2007-12-08T18:32:00.000-06:00

...in his ugly 2nd place Christmas sweater! I wanted an action shot of everyone on my birthday playing quarters. All complied with my demand, with the exception of my OLDER brother. I can't decide who looks goofier: Dan or my obedient pals??
Sarah won 1st place for her UGLY sweater (thanks to Rah's Mama). I'm, ah.. pointing to the "lovely" knitted rocking-horse!

~~~

One of our favorite party games, on the blizzarding eve of my birthday, was my wisely purchased Christmas Fun Mad Libs! We took turns filling in the blanks in the short stories, and most of them involved various body parts, bodily functions, and of course - Mariah Carey (who I think we felt was at the party in spirit = I put her version of "All I want for Christmas" on my playlist 3+ times, due to requests of course). My favorite Mad Lib was called "A Transylvanian New Year's" however, I think I found one that was a little bit cleaner:

SCROOGE

You have just read "A Christmas Carol" by Dan. Years ago in London, Zimbabwai, lived a mean, stingy Simba named Scrooge. He was so stingy, he saved tumblers. In fact, he had more than 7 of them. When anyone mentioned Christmas, Scrooge said, "Bah! Bowel." He had a powerful bookkeeper named Bob Cratchit, and Scrooge made him work 4 hours a day.

One Christmas Eve, Mr. Scrooge had a dream. He saw the Ghost of Christmas Past, who showed him what a purple Nintendo Wi he had been. Then the Cannon of Christmas Present showed Scrooge the miserable home of Bob Cratchit and loud Tiny Time. Tiny Tim had a temperature of 25 degrees. Then Scrooge met the Ghost of Christmas Cool, who took him to a scary cemetery, where Scrooge saw his own hole. He also saw the grave of Timy Tom Cruise. Scrooge turned blue and shouted, "Pooter!"

I'd definitely recommend Christmas Fun Mad Libs for any holiday get-together, a good birthday indeed!

Happy HolllIDaaays!

2007-11-30T19:55:00.000-06:00

Is my blog dead?

2007-11-18T14:26:00.000-06:00

This question has been pestering me over the past week (month). The fact that only a few of my nearest and dearest friends will read this (most likely because they have that update thingy that alerts them when I post something new), should pretty much answer the question.

See the truth is, I'm not quite ready to let go. My lack of interest in my blog isn't due to not having anything to post/rant/vomit about, and it isn't due to apathy either - things still piss me off on a daily basis. I think it's just that I don't feel like I can commit enough time to do it justice - whatever that may be.

I'm banking on the fact that this will all change with the onset of cabin fever, brought on by ridiculously frigid temperatures. I am already feeling the effects of the season shift, in that I'm pretty sure I could sleep for days if my alarm clock didn't insist on waking me after 10-11 hours already!

I've just started trying something new this year: non-summer exercise. Which I'm guessing will lead to more energy, and thus, more waking hours with little to do, enter blog.

MY BLOG IS NOT DEAD, yet.

Fall Foto Fun

2007-10-18T20:51:00.000-05:00

I hate it when people spell PHOTO like that. It's not like I have some sort of sick respect for the antiquated "English Language" (eh hem, Dan!), but I'm a sucker for obvious alliterations, what can I say? SCATTEGORIES

Ah, a beautiful fall evening scene of Doug and I..wait a second, let's zoom in on that.

Hmm, it seems that Mom still cannot grasp the complexities of the digital camera. This is a completely candid capture (catch the alliteration?) and although we took a "nice" "better" one after this, we thought the first one was slightly superior.

Happy Transition

2007-09-15T12:32:00.000-05:00

LAST DAY OF OLD JOB

- broke the dress code: I wore one of the classiest pairs of pants I own, but they're not ankle length, and thus, a major VIOLATION - I know, I'm such a rebel. Upper Management = Useless Meddlers

- FREEDOM: I thought I'd be, at least, a little sad leaving the old job, but I started to get giddy as I locked up and I may have yelled: "FREEEEDOM!" numerous times, out the window on the drive home.

FIRST DAY OF NEW JOB

- Less like prison, more like work: everyone is so friendly, I'll definitely be using more of my brain and, believe it or not, my degree!! What a pleasant surprise! I'm not locked in a cave for 8+ hours either - SUNLIGHT & WINDOWS.

- First week = Done: I'm actually treated like an adult, I get to manage my own hours, my office mate reminds me of a lot of my best friends, due to the proximity to my house I'm often HOME FOR JEOPARDY!

This is good, this is SO good.

Conscience

2007-09-04T17:42:00.000-05:00

I'm having trouble letting things go at my job on my last week. I keep thinking: "What's the best thing for this particular issue for the future?" or "What should I do with this so that it's taken care of the next time?" and then I try to remind myself: "NOT MY PROBLEM!" but I just can't let go.

I find myself wishing that the interim person I'm training would go do something else for a bit so I can get "my work" done - what is wrong with me? It's my last week, I'm covering for my co-worker as a final favor (this week's vacation may be the last vacation she takes...forever) and part of me thinks they should just be happy I show up, period.

I should be taking long lunches, calling friends & family, napping, painting my toenails! Instead I'm postponing my lunch, following up on phone calls, organizing, and updating the training manual (<-- which is a Labor of Love, let me tell you!).

The bitch of having a conscience = even if you have delinquent ideas, you can't convince yourself to go through with 'em.

BLUE SKYYYYYYS

2007-08-29T18:32:00.001-05:00

Nothin' but blue skyyys! I realize that a lot of my titles are songs, parts of songs, or butchery (?) of songs. I guess it's just that I tend to have a tune for whatever moment, phase, mood I'm in. My daily life soundtrack is not only generally girlie, but also kinda' hokey... duh. I blame my Mother.

ANYWAY, pardon the digression, I am just elated today because I stopped by my new job and it is a 6.5 minute WALK that's right W-A-L-K from our new place. Neither Doug or I will ever have to drive to work from where we live! Which is great, because driving is dumb. (My Bro labeled me European for my need to be able to walk almost everywhere, and I thanked him for such a compliment!).

The Final COUNTDOWWWN

2007-08-23T21:03:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about doing a countdown summary of the days left at my current job as a way to get back on the good side of my blog. I decided against it, for the most part because I am trying to stick with my resolution to not completely hate on the place/people.

Just for fun though, today's countdown title would be:

If hadn't quit already, I'D QUIT!

Civil, huh? Well, truthful at the very least... I thought that once the end was in sight it wouldn't be so difficult to put my remaining time in - Ha! It's actually kind of the opposite: I have less tolerance, attention span, and control over the truth pouring out of my mouth at all hours of the day. (Again, why it wouldn't necessarily be pleasant to have a countdown summary of my final days). I will attempt to detail at least some of The End of My First Job, if not for the blog, then simply for stress relief.

Cheers!

Organizing Chaos

2007-08-19T12:20:00.000-05:00

Severe. Blog. Neglect. My Bro keeps asking me when I'm going to stop neglecting my blog (I'm so flattered that he cares!), but you see I was sliding down a rather slippery blog-neglecting slope. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to post, quite the opposite, in fact. It's like when you don't call your best friend for a while and then the wealth of crap that you have to tell her/him just keeps building and building to the point where YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START AND YOU PUT IT OFF LONGER AND LONGER AND Ahhhhhhh! THE INSANITY! Ok, so maybe that doesn't happen to everyone...ANYWAY - Doug and I are co-habitating!

I GOT A NEW JOB!

It's not in Russia!

Or in the kitchen! Speaking of which, I must cut this short because the "Man of the House" who is also the Executive Chef, just plopped a beautiful slice of French Toast on my plate! Yeah Me!

Summer Puppy Lovin'

2007-06-28T17:34:00.000-05:00

SLURP! How cute, huh? This puppy, named "Tot" like the tatter I shit you not, was hanging out with us on my balcony the other evening. Gotta love the tongue factor.

Em, Mel & I pretending we're starring in that show "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Obviously, I'm the...ah, Drunk Storyteller Chick. That show was awesome, my favorite one (or at least the one that sticks in my brain as the most fantastically horrifying) was the one called The Tale of the Dangerous Soup. The owner of this restaurant uses people's fear to flavor his famous soup, and he gets the "fear" by torturing people with some creature, it's great.

2007-06-15T18:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here half naked, drinking (finishing) a glass of wine. Of course this isn't relevant, but I have your attention don't I?

So, why have I been so AWOL lately? Ah, a question with so many answers (excuses). To (sorta) cut the bullshit, I've been fucking preoccupied and fucking lazy on top of that.

(Vague) TRANSLATION: I was working towards a positive career change, had my dreams crushed unexpectedly, and was too caught up in flustering (?) through that slap in the face to find motivation. Plus, I haven't taken pictures of anything cool BECAUSE I've been fucking preoccupied and fucking lazy.

On an interesting (somewhat lame) note, I have re-discovered the "My Pictures" screen saver option and let me tell you, that is SO much fun! I did have to remove all pictures of me and my ex(es) because the bastard screen saver kept throwing them up, for an excruciatingly long time, repeatedly... ANYWAY, I'm going to do it right now and survey & record the first 10 pictures it shows because I think it's a funny sample set of my recent past (sans the old boyfriends!).

Here it is:
1) Vacation in Denver w/Ma & Pa - clouds
2) 1615 College House - drunk Amandafarland & I
3) OHIO - @ the Stube
4) St. Patty's - Doug & I (semi-drunk)
5) CARLY - drunk in Summer '05?
6) San Francisco Trip - Japanese Tea Gardens
7) Lilacs
8) Mifflin 2007 - Tiffy & I (not as drunk as previous years)
9) Campus Fall 2005 - The Social Sci Bell Tower
10) Lacrosse Trip - Mikey & I on the drunk bus

Pretty sweet random selection eh? My favorite oldies, but goodies (sadly not in the list) that also keep popping up are all the Pre-Games @ 1615 = classic & hilarious.

For those who remember

2007-05-08T18:50:00.000-05:00

being young
going to Mifflin (bye Justy K - have a great summer!)
dressing up as a taco ??
Aw, aren't we cute! Tiffy and I taking a break from the virtually deserted "Dance for Democracy"
Crazy guy getting arrested after fighting for no reason at the anti-war dance = tacky.

I left my Carlita in San Francisco

2007-05-04T17:51:00.000-05:00

I usually enjoy being chronological, but this is such a nice leg shot I had to put it first!

Japanese Tea Gardens

...at a bar, I was probably the least drunk - I don't remember the name, what the outside or inside looked like, however, I do remember being quite offended that the bouncer stamped the inside of my wrist! (It's a personal place apparently)
The "Full House" houses.

Carly and I spent an insane amount of time trying to sing the theme song, upon seeing them. Sadly, we kept ending up singing the "Step by Step" theme song..?

A face (and place) you'll never forget.

I'd like to write more about the trip, like the time Carly leaned her naked ass on the glass front of a hotel because she had to pee so bad she couldn't wait for, I dunno, A CEMENT FRONT BUILDING, but(t) it's Friday, and I need more beverages and I guess you can get a pretty good idea of the trip from that one description, anyway :) It was great to see all you Cali people, thanks for having me Carlita!

April SNOW Showers!!??!?!?!!!!

2007-04-11T17:37:00.000-05:00

What the hell?? Is it strange to say that I think this weather might actually be making me like my job even less? I am SO done with snow, forever (or at least until ummm November).

I did paint this lovely oil painting, however - and if you believe that I've got a whole closet of women's business clothes to sell ya'! Hahahahahaha. Quite possibly losing it :)

** Did I mention my Brother and my Boyfriend both had snow days?!??!! Granted the Bro did try to talk me into joining him... snow days for grown-ups?!?!

stockpiling booze & tampons

2007-04-04T17:32:00.000-05:00

No, not for the apocalypse, simply because I CAN!

Things have been going better at the ole J.O.B. this week -- I haven't felt any overwhelming feelings of dread or despair, and I'm trying to remind myself why working is good by buying stuff! Nothing major, as I still can't shake the poor-college-student-guilt thing, just the essentials like booze and tampons. The reason these essentials are so satisfying as a working woman, is because I used to buy about a week's supply of both, and now I can buy more.

My bathroom is finally fully stocked, and my fridge is quite full and happy (with beer, wine & gin, not food of course). It truly puts my mind at ease to know that I won't have to worry about running out of these things for a while.

Whatever gets you through the day, right? Time to make/open a drink because: I CAN!

Where to begin?

2007-03-28T17:05:00.000-05:00

-- It is a question I ask myself often. Currently, it's in reference to me thinking about brushing off my resume and beginning the dreadful task of job searching, AGAIN. I finally have the motivation, for example: having to shut myself in the bathroom stall at work, in effort to keep from weeping about the fact that I have to make it through another hour let alone another day.

In any case, I still have no idea what I really want to do -- I was so fed up at lunch today that I forced myself to write a list of things I'm somewhat skilled at, as well as a list of things I like. Yeah, it sounded about as lame and pointless this afternoon as it did when I was in grade school, and it was. Basically, from what I could conclude about my lists, my career goal in life is to be a 7 year old kid. I'd like to be outside, play with fun/nice people, have the latest toys, create and organize things... and yep, that's about it.

I tried to think about what "experience" I've "gained" over less than a year in the job force. Well, I've learned, actually taught would be the right word - I've taught myself some interesting and useful things, but as far as "experience" goes I'd say I've mostly "experienced" denial, despair, and pessimism. Oh, and let's not leave out inefficiency. I do think I'd make an excellent Efficiency Expert! Is that what they call the people who analyze an organization and then fire all of the staff who perform absolutely NO beneficial function? I think I'd be great at that! I'd start with the people who say things like "...maybe we should have a meeting about that" and I'd tell them that if they or their employees that they "manage" actually completed their jobs at just a satisfactory level they wouldn't have to WASTE ALL OF MY DAMN TIME WITH THEIR UNPRODUCTIVE MEETINGS!!!

Ah... feeling better, as expected. I think that for now I will just stick it out where I am, and when I finally come across something that I might actually enjoy doing (that is a viable/legal profession) I will try to find a way to make it happen.

Shout Out

2007-03-18T10:57:00.000-05:00

Carly and I always write messages to each other at The Pub. When we're there together, we come out of the bathroom and tell the other one "Stall 2" or whatever stall we chose to compose our little masterpiece in. We have an on-going conversation on the board for the rest of the night. Usually, our creativity is hindered such that we can only write things like "I love Carly!" "Steph Rocks!" you get the idea. Since she's moved to California, I still can't help writing her a shout out when I'm there. So, I hope everyone had a Happy Irish People Day (as Sarah insisted on calling it), and I missed you Carlita and I hope you got my message someway, somehow!

Surprisingly, we all look pretty sober for drinking green beer all afternoon. The pitchers were continually being filled, but I would guesstimate my intake at about 10 beers + one shot with Rah at 2:30pm.
Our plan at our Q-doba Dinner Meeting (post-Pub) was to separate, sleep it off, and re-group. Well, we all woke up at around 9pm, Doug and I got our drinking hats on, however, none of the rest of our crew could muster up enough Irish to join us back out. We went out anyway, and enjoyed the drunk people watching -- I have to give the Madisonians props for all of their green garb = nice.

Yeah, for our annual family & friends St. Patty's Day tradition!

Solo Dance Party

2007-03-17T10:24:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Alissa & Eric for introducing us to TV on the Radio. Not only did their new CD provoke me to dance with myself, but their concert last night, once again, reminded me why everyone should have a healthy dose of live music in their lives. The music ROCKED and they were awesome performers -- money well spent.

Drunk Rocker: "Yeah!"

Everyone should also dance & take pictures of themselves, because it releases your inner geek and keeps you humble.

This one would be my lame myspace Ooo or facebook picture, if I had either one. It fits nicely into the trying-to-be-artsy/sexy-but-looking-rather-lame category very nicely!
(BTW: Does my arm look freakish, or what?!)

Getting There

2007-03-10T15:10:00.000-06:00

Sledding with Mom

2007-03-03T15:32:00.000-06:00

Definitely the funnest fifty-something I know!

My Mama is always a little concerned about my SAD. Today, she made me go sledding. This picture is actually a couple years old - currently, all of that bramble is covered with snow, so the sledding couldn't be better. We were the only "kids" out there, which perplexes me because this hill is pretty sweet. Add a jump or two and there is totally potential for broken bones. I used my patented bag-socks method: socks with plastic bags tied and secured to mid-calf, sneakers and snow pants on top. Honestly, the best "boots" I've ever worn. My Pops was trying to insist that I wear his boots claiming, "We don't want to look like we're in the Poor House!" To which I said, "Really? I always thought that we were, growing up..." (Mom Eye Roll). Ok, maybe not the Poor House, but perhaps the Short Pants & Exposed Ankles Because We Bought You New Jeans Last Month House. Growth spurts = painful memories.

If I wasn't planning a trip to California..

2007-03-02T17:28:00.000-06:00

...I'D BE PLANNING A MOVE THERE! Seriously. SERIOUSLY!! I'm staring out the window right now thinking, Some people would find this falling snow beautiful... and I'd tell them to get their heads checked! I've tried (sorta) to be strong this year - in fact, I guess that's my New Year's Resolution every January: to try to like/deal with/not go nutso this Winter - but I guess I'm just not up to the challenge, actually, I'm failing miserably.

Carly, Emma, Krista,
If it weren't for your emails discussing us getting together and bopping around San Fran, next month, I don't know what I'd do! You are all so cute with your numerous suggestions of fun things we will see and explore: I SO NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I can't wait to see you; your ideas are keeping me going :)

WOOoooo! Adult Spring Break Baby!

Winter Wonderland?

2007-02-27T14:00:00.000-06:00

Doug wouldn't let me title this post "Anniversary Weekend" for some odd reason, and I had to do a drawing of the snow people from down the street because their heads had fallen off by the time I got out there this morning (notice: each snow person had an eye fall out already, because of all the..um, activity). The drawing is pretty accurate and if you have an imagination I'm sure you can picture how hilarious this scene was.

We did spend the weekend up in the Wisconsin Dells, which was a lot of fun, also. I haven't loaded the "real" pictures yet, so the snow people will have to do as I have more errands to run today before Jeopardy and my massage -- yes, I am spoiling myself, however if I wasn't I'd probably be curled up in the corner of my office weeping about all of the nasty snow.

Ok, fine, Winter is not over I GET IT, but enough already! After all, look at what it is making the snow people do!!

SPRING!!

2007-02-21T19:16:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know that it's not quite Spring... well, I mean, I know that there are bouts of Winter left, but this weather is OUTRAGEOUS! People have always told me "You'd miss Winter if you moved somewhere warm year-round" (spoken with nasal-northern/midwestern-accent). Truth is, I wouldn't miss Winter at all, though I'd definitely miss Spring. I'm seriously fascinated by everything Spring. I came back from my Lunch Walk at work the other day, and I announced "SPRING IS HERE! I'm declaring it!" My co-workers inquired about the temperature, and I said: "Let me put it this way, YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR BREATH!" Then, I went on and on about the melting snow and the water rushing everywhere -- I'm a total nutcase at this time of the year (haha, yes, more than usual).

I went rollerblading today = HA!

I made that fleur in paint, while on hold = :)

A February to Remember

2007-02-18T17:36:00.000-06:00

Catching up with my friends used to happen on Friday and Saturday nights. Now, we catch up with lengthy phone calls or long-winded emails and I can't help feeling that it's just not the same. I'm extremely pleased with the way my life is going (career indecision excluded), I am with someone who makes me smile on an hourly basis, I am supporting myself -- cellphone bill and groceries aside, I thoroughly enjoy my free time & friends still living here: basically, my life is progressing as it should. Nonetheless, I once again feel like I was not prepared for this sudden social shift. Where is everybody? We can't be at the point already where we only see each other at Weddings and on Holidays ...can we? I think I'd feel better if we had annual events planned, like a Roomie Reunion, a Hometown Barcrawl, a Madtown Barcrawl and maybe even a Ohio/Wisc Spring Break! Yes, that would definitely make me feel better about all of this. Maybe some of you are ready to move on to this so-called "Mature Phase" but I happen to still like all of you and I do believe we were all close friends at one time or another and I'm not ready to give that up! I'm not sure what to do about all of it, however, if you have any ideas shoot me an email for chrissake. Or, on an individual level: if you're thinking about/missing me, then that probably means that I'm thinking about/missing you, so let's at least do lunch if you're in the frickin state?

This February has been one to remember, for sure, but my personal curse is that I remember most Februaries and I'm not capable of forgetting all of the great times we had.

I love you and I think it sucks that we don't see each other more, you buttholes.

Be Mine

2007-02-14T17:05:00.000-06:00

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS EXTREME LOVEY, GIRLIENESS. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE EASILY NAUSEATED.
I came home to these yesterday :) I was so surprised, especially since we had decided not to do that much for our VD (hehehe: VD!), but that's just Doug -- he finds some way to make me feel special everyday. For the rest of the evening, I replayed that moment when I walked in the door to this beautiful bouquet and I kept thinking: "Was that really me? Did that really happen to me?"

~~~

Happy VD everyone! May we all be so lucky to have someone who makes us feel special everyday.

Some Dudes

2007-02-08T19:17:00.000-06:00

Yeah, these are just two random dudes at what appears to be some sort of drunkfest.

Just teasing you Timmy -- you said you thought this photo was blog-worthy, and indeed it is (especially after I "fixed" it so), however, I probably should have made you write something up to do it justice. It's not that I don't have plenty of wonderfully slanderous things to say about you & Burnsy and the end of your special relationship together, it's just that I am feeling rather creatively drained after days of trying to come up with seemingly unique and exciting reasons to go to work in the morning. I hope you'll understand and please know that I've been thinking about you both during yet another transition in this crazy, chaotic, stage of our lives.

Tracks in the Snow

2007-01-30T17:16:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the last day of January and all I have to say is GOOD RIDDANCE! I do believe this is the first January that I haven't rollerbladed once and I am feeling it. Not to mention, I haven't gone on my regular lunch-walk since Pretend Winter ended and Real Winter started! Can you say slightly Stir Crazy?! On a positively, extremely, exciting note - I did manage to get my vacation time approved for the next few months, which not only greatly enhances my work attitude, but it also MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO VISIT CARLY IN APRIL!! I spent half of my lunch hour today looking at flights to San Fran and emailing Carly. I'm sure my co-workers are curious about the perma-grin I can't seem to wipe off my face all of the sudden.

THIS BADGER IS HEADING WEST!! I CAN'T WAIT LITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pre-party Eye: a little bloodshot

2007-01-24T17:57:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to post for forever, that last post has been half-finished for almost a week. Guess I've been busy - if busy is synonymous with lazy, that is. I can't definitively come up with a valid excuse. Although, I must admit: the longer I go without posting the more anxious I get about posting. I feel like the next one has to be really good, like I have to have a fascinating/sarcastic/well-written post for my 3-4 dedicated readers (you/I know who you are, and thanks!), or perhaps, just a splay of interesting pics for all of my reading impaired friends! Oh the pressure.

The Sun is Back! ..slowly, but surely

2007-01-17T20:26:00.000-06:00

It is one of the coldest weeks we've had so far this winter, and it's not just your average kind of cold. It's the cold that seeps into your bones and takes hours to seriously melt out, the cold that makes your nose run and also go numb so that, potentially, you could be oblivious to your crusty boogers for half the day, the cold that takes your average half-naked sleeper and turns them into The Flannel Monster. So, you'd think I'd be miserable, and there are certainly moments of bitterness when I am, yet for the most part I couldn't be happier! Why? Because the days are getting longer!!! It wasn't very noticeable at first (even after I found this neato calendar that shows the times of sunrise and sunset everyday in Wisconsin), however, now I can see a difference - it is light when I leave and still light when I come home! Not just because my bus now mysteriously comes 20 minutes later in the morning OR because I'm making a concentrated effort to bolt out of work like my ass is on fire at the exact moment I complete 8 and a half hours of real world torture!

STOP AHEAD

2007-01-11T18:34:00.000-06:00

Every obstacle is just a stop on your journey...

Ha, no forget that crap -- I was just attempting to be (however sarcastically) inspirational after my previous anxious post. I've learned some things in the short time since I last vomited all over this blog, we'll call it "perspective" for kicks, and I was going to make a list of such perspective for you all to see, although, one of my shows (I KNOW, I still have shows even without cable!) is starting very soon. So, all I have to say is that my current job is not ideal, but because of my experience there I'm finally acquiring a few lists in my head about ..breath ...WHAT IT IS I ACTUALLY WANT. That's all I've ever wished for, just some things I like and some things I don't, it's not a ton to ask.

What have I gotten into?

2007-01-04T19:38:00.000-06:00

I stayed at work today for 10 hours VOLUNTARILY. I hate myself a little bit.

I had to do some employee training with a new system that I helped create (OK, that I created). It was a system to seriously cut back on the amount of paper we use involving online data forms and BLAH! I was ambivalent about it from the start because I thought we should get Tech Support involved, after all - it's their job, not mine OH WAIT, I am capable therefore it is my job! Well, I started to get excited about the whole process because I got the opportunity to play with a new computer program and I still think that what I came up with is pretty cool. However, there are all these other variables that make it so that I have serious doubts about how this is ever going to fully function. Fuck. Me.

The point is this, I understand that this is my first "Real Job" and I'm trying to keep that in perspective by not getting caught up in it so much that it effects my Real Life. I'm torn because half of the time I'm telling myself to suck it up and the other half I'm adding up the hours of daylight I miss in a week & thinking about how if they just had a soundproof room you could go into and scream in, I might not go insane.

2007!

2007-01-03T17:35:00.000-06:00

If this is any indication of the year to come, I'd say it's going to be a wild one. I get this crazy urge every once in a while to "ruin" pictures -- I am bored with 1,000 photos of the same people making the same faces, as I'm sure they are bored of my smiley mug! Thus, "ruining" usually involves sticking my tongue out (not very original) and often crossing my eyes (not super original, but surprisingly grotesque). Well, no crossed eyes here (yet), nonetheless I'd say it's a pretty fun shot and I enjoy it thoroughly, just as I enjoyed these folks thoroughly.

HAPPY NEW YEAR KIDS!

(miss you Lita, kiss!)

Happy Bachelorette Party Kate

2006-12-28T10:21:00.000-06:00

Ah, it seems like just yesterday I was picking you up off of a club floor in Milwaukee when you suddenly fell off of the bar (much to your surprise). Today, we are going out for your very own Bachelorette Extravaganza ("extravaganza" because apparently that's what all bachelorette parties have turned into). Dear, let's try to stay ON any bars we may dance on this evening. As much fun as it was to rush you off to the bathroom and take inventory of your parts, while your other best friends suffered temporary blindness and hearing loss, we don't need a repeat performance :)

No, in all seriousness, although 100% chic events can drive a person bonkers, I am looking forward to tonight and I'm sure we'll have a blast with you Katie -- a safe blast, if we're lucky!

Awww

2006-12-23T15:13:00.000-06:00

Thank you to everyone for all of the lovely Christmas cards. They are decorating my windowsill and I enjoy looking at them everyday. I truly appreciate each one, thank you for making me feel loved when I'm feeling a little lonely.

Doug and I decided to have Christmas separately with our families, I thought: hey, we're adults we don't have to be together everyday, he can have Christmas with his fam, and I'll have Christmas with mine -- it will be just like every other Christmas I've ever had (HA!). That was all fine & dandy until I was smacked again with the horrible realization that I AM A GIRL. It was awful, I was all sad and emotional (frickin' gross) not because he'd be gone for a few days but because, barf, we wouldn't be together on Christmas! Who knew I cared so much?! Ah, but there's no denying that I do, for the first time in my life, I have a tiny sense of how this holiday could bring you down, because I'm missing the man I love. On that note I'd say it's time for a drink! CHEERS.

Tis the Season for Scarfs

2006-12-21T17:36:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am wearing all of my scarfs at once for this picture. I never really thought of myself as a scarf person before, but I do enjoy them now. In fact, I'd have to say that they are my favorite (and often only) accessory! Thus, it pleases me greatly that I've been given one every week so far this month - bringing my collection from one to four (teetering on excess). Each one is unique and quite special, if I do say so, although, I may become overwhelmed with the multitude of combinations for accessorizing.

SIDETRACK: I get a strangely strong sense of calm from deciding I like something (e.g. scarfs). It's like, "Well... I may not have a clue what I'd like to do with my life, BUT I like scarfs, this is progress!!" Does that make any sense at all?

Light your ass on fire

2006-12-15T19:49:00.000-06:00

It all started with this conversation:

Doug: "You know how people can light their farts on fire?"

Me: "No...I don't really know, in fact, I kinda' thought that was a bunch of crap..heh."

Doug: "NO, It's true! I'll show you sometime."

Well, yesterday I was fortunate enough to live to see such a show. My friends, I am happy to say that I have seen a fart on fire - and my what a sight it is!

Before I could say fire extinguisher Doug was holding a flame to his butt cheeks. Within seconds I watched as a circular column of flames shot from his ass and incinerated his shorts! Luckily for Doug, it was a small quick, ah.. burn, but the explosion did drop me to the ground. I lost all control of my limbs and started convulsing on the floor, with laughter.

It's all in the little things

2006-12-13T21:09:00.000-06:00

BAD START = Watching the bus you take to work everyday speed past your stop without even pausing.

GOOD END = Discovering that your internet is magically functioning again for no apparent reason!

Experience

2006-12-07T17:14:00.000-06:00

Owww! My laundry is too heavy, I'm never going to get it up to my apartment. Maybe I should just leave my detergent in my trunk from now on?!

It freezes, AND you'll have to wait for it to melt the next time you use it.

Ah, I see you've tried this?

Yes, AND liquid fabric softener is basically ruined once it's been frozen.

Good to know.

On the day I was born..

2006-12-02T14:01:00.000-06:00

...it was a record high of 62 degrees in Madison -- I'd say that explains a lot :)

Pockets full of LOVE

2006-12-02T10:59:00.000-06:00

Sarahbeth: we goin' party like it's your bday
Sarahbeth: we in the club.. pockets full of love...
Sarahbeth: blah blah blah
Sarahbeth: party like its your bday
Sarahbeth: k, this would have been more effective if i would have known all the words.. but...
Sarahbeth: HAPPY BIRTHDAY none the less
watorgrl: it's "bottles full of bub"
Sarahbeth: yeah... that does make more sense
watorgrl: but I like pockets full of love better
Sarahbeth: i thought maybe he had a boner.. 'cause he was excited about the bday

I backed up my files WOOO!

2006-12-01T18:31:00.000-06:00

Honestly, I am that excited! For a pre-Birthday gift, I bought myself a little memory drive thing-a-mer (how mature!). In no time I filled up 2GB with pictures and music mostly. I still have some tunes and documents from my youth that need backing up. Which, I'm taking as a sign that I should just buy myself a laptop for Christmas! My shitty, but surprisingly resilient, PC is functioning adequately for it's shittyness, however, there are certain features (like a working, modern, operating system) that it lacks. Thus, making it difficult for me to play with two of my favorite things: photos and music. Wow, I just bored myself with my geektasticness..

ANYWAY, about the Birthday tomorrow, I know it's the one day of the year that you can easily manipulate those you love into doing whatever your little heart desires, nonetheless, I am at a loss for what it is exactly that I want to do! If any of you loved ones read this by tonight, or tomorrow, I am open to obscene suggestions that I can pass off as my own. Thank you kindly.

Darkness seeps in...

2006-11-27T18:19:00.000-06:00

It was amazing the difference a couple of days made in the pathetic remaining daylight this morning. I no longer need to open my blinds because I leave before it is light out and I come home after it is dark. My bookends are black and I'M BEGINNING TO GO cRaZy!!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw 5 suns on the forecast, last Monday. We don't get five days of sunlight in a row here, I thought I was in Colorado, not Wisconsin. I did my best to get outside during my lunch break, and I think I even got a little sun-kissed putting on my make up in the porch on Thanksgiving, but it wasn't enough.

I'm not sure which is more frustrating: the simple fact that there is so little light and so much dark, or the fact that I feel like the darkness puts an insane curfew on what I deem safe to do in this city (not that I always follow it). I'm leaning towards the latter - it saddens me that I even have to worry about watching my back when I get off the bus early to get some air, in the evening, and it infuriates me that no one seems to care. YOUR WOMEN DON'T FEEL SAFE IN THE DARKNESS AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE!

Ah, thanks. I've wanted to voice that for a long time. Now, I'm off to shave my legs and maybe find a kick boxing class to take again. Couldn't hurt, unless you cross me, then you should be certain it would :)

Packing for a Sleepover

2006-11-22T18:00:00.000-06:00

- pajamas: check!
- camera: check!
- sleeping bag: check!
- booze: check!
- post(townie)bar game: check!

I can't believe we're going to camp out in Tiff's basement like the old days - well huh, I was going to say that I guess it's a little different now with the booze and all, but as Tiff's basement toilet can testify, that's really not all that different from Junior/Senior year of high school. What will be different is the whole townie bar/not-have-to-hide-the-fact-that-we're-smashed from Tiff's parents experience. Ah, the holidays! Happy Thanksgiving.

Dear Madison,

2006-11-18T11:02:00.000-06:00

As I sat on the bus yesterday composing this letter to you in my head, it struck me how appropriate it was that the lyrics "This city's made us crazy and we must get out!" happened to be playing on my mp3 player. I don't think I'm at that point yet, Madison, however you are pushing me away and I'm not sure what will become of our future anymore.

I remember the exact moment that I fell in love with you. It wasn't until my junior year of college when I was staring at a crack in your pavement and I had this overwhelming sense of "home." When you go to college because you have to, because it is the next logical step and you can't come up with any good alternatives, and you don't have a clue what you like or dislike it is a wonderful feeling to finally feel like you belong - like you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. I had always thought I'd leave you, as soon as possible, to go somewhere warm. Let's face it, as much as anyone tries to believe that the winter here is "fun" or "tolerable" we've all had moments where we've thought: "This fucking sucks, why the hell do I live here?" After I fell in love with you, I knew I was in trouble. It would be hard enough to ever leave the people I love, but now I'd be leaving a city I loved as well.

Things started getting rocky this past year. A (presumably) drunk, idiot smashed into my car and drove away without a care in the world. As should be expected, your police department could do nothing for me and I had a hard time forgiving the attack. I know I never should have brought a car into our relationship. In all honesty, you hate cars -- all of your odd one-ways make it a clusterfuck for out-of-towners and parking for residents is a big joke. I knew all of this, but I'm trying to grow up a little, and that requires not making your parents and your friends drive you everywhere. Why can't you respect that?

Then, the whole situation worsened when school was back in session this fall. Is everyone accepted at your university these days? I was blown away and continue to be disgusted by all of the puke on the sidewalks! Seriously! I witnessed a lot of puking in my college days but we at least made it to a bush if not an actual toilet or garbage can a lot of the time. Projectile vomiting in public must be some sort of sport with the new class, cool. Not to mention, I moved into a building occupied by college girls. College Girls: often semi-nerdy, like to study, are respectful of the apartment and their neighbors. NOT. These girls like to pass out with all of their lights on with the door of their apartment wide open while their belligerent, asshole, boyfriends ring my doorbell incessantly exactly one half hour before my alarm is to go off. That was SO not cool. I know I'm not in school anymore, but I just wanted to live downtown and be close to you and you are making it incredibly difficult.

I've been disappointed by your actions, or lack there of, for a while, still what you did this week really hurt the most. When Doug and I found his car, Victor, with a front headlight and a rear brake light smashed in and the words "FUCK YOU" keyed into the side, besides wanting to hurt someone, I felt violated and hopeless (I am not kidding you, Doug said I can take pictures, so stay tuned for that). I never realized you had that kind of hate inside you. I'm not sure if it's something you are willing to change, and if not, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to go on loving you like I did.

Yours,
~Steph

but it's not FAIR!

2006-11-15T17:32:00.000-06:00

Life's not fair. I've decided my growing hostility towards people, as of late, has to do with the fact that cheaters always win. They bend, break and completely disregard the rules and always end up on the plus side for it. Me, on the other hand:

- I wait my turn at the end of the line when I know the bouncer.
- I don't give my last name at a restaurant owned by family.
- I've never kissed ass for grades I wasn't smart enough to earn.

What do I have to show for it? RAGING HATRED. Today I contemplated easing this burning desire to beat cheaters, by becoming one of them. Maybe, instead of whining about getting the short end of the stick all the time, I should just jump right in and play dirty. I'm a Sociology major for chrissake! Why not put all of those years spent learning how to manipulate people to good use?!

...because, I can't. I'd forever feel guilty about possibly cheating the minority of people out there who do follow the rules. How on Earth did I ever acquire such ridiculous morals? I totally SUCK.

The Marriage Amendment

2006-11-08T07:10:00.000-06:00

disappointed. embarrassed. sad.

- I can only hope that in the future, our kids will be saying, "Wow, I can't believe people were so ignorant and hateful in 2006, good thing they eventually came around."

November?

2006-11-06T19:44:00.000-06:00

I like to pretend it is actually spring, now and then, during fall. It helps me not feel SADD Finding flowers like this in November only serves to encourage my delusion. I think "Oh! Look at the spring flowers blooming!" Not to mention, predicted temps of close to 70 for Wednesday might make me bust out the shorts for rollerblading. See, it is not my brain that is making me crazy, it is my environment.

Speaking of -- GET OUT AND VOTE TOMORROW! (Unless, you are going to vote like an ignorant asshole, then just stay home and do the human race a favor) gasp!

Badger Game with Dad

2006-11-04T08:58:00.000-06:00

GO BIG RED!

Dad's first beer bong - back in the good ole days...miss that place, and I miss my friends.

Where are you all?

Dancin' with OurSellHelves

2006-11-01T17:16:00.000-06:00

I think that's a pretty good way to sum up Boston and what we did while we were there.

That's me, Burnsy, and Bridget - Em's roomie - she's hot. Both of Em's roomies were hot, and awesome, as well. Plain to see that Emily attracts cool people wherever she goes.
The Train Gang: Our fabulous foursome. So, did we decide if I'm outta' The Pact, or not?? I don't know what to say about this picture... Sorry, Norm.

Splendid. I should thank Timmy for providing me with these pics, I couldn't be bothered with the responsibility of a camera for this trip. This was my favorite view from the 50th floor of the Prudential Tower. I loved this scene and I was pleased to see my hand reflected in the bottom, left, corner -- almost as if it is touching the reflecting pool, which I could have reflected in for hours.

Thanks again for all of the memories, kids. An adventure, as always.

Happy Skank'O'ween!

2006-10-28T16:34:00.000-05:00

Halloween 2005

I get that Halloween is a time for people to dress like they would not normally, although, I am confused as to why that translates into wearing next-to-nothing. Snow White was a whore?? WHO KNEW?! Anyway, I tend to dislike being scantily clad for Halloween, I happen to like my boobs and don't wish to freeze them off. With, of course, the exception of last year's Skanky Barbie, who got herself into all sorts of trouble, dumb tramp. So I made a drinking game out of it at the bar last night: every time we saw someone dressed skankily (defined as exposing parts of the body which are vulnerable in Wisconsin fall weather) we had to drink and yell "SKANK'O'WEEN!" - it was tons of fun, and tons of drunk. Everyone should try it.

***

Happy Halloween everyone, and remember, just cuz your dressed like a slut doesn't mean you have to act like one :)

Fall Back

2006-10-24T17:48:00.000-05:00

I couldn't resist picking up this guy on the street today. I found the red veins to be the most captivating thing about him. I brought him home, took his mug shot and went to put him in my "College Dictionary." My Dad bought me a big dictionary my Freshman year signed:

With Love

from Dad!

Enjoy!

The few times I've pulled it out to actually look up something (it was a nice gesture, Dad, but c'mon who needs a 10 pound dictionary when there's internet..) I've been pleasantly surprised by the growing leaf collection I have. Today, I was also interested to note, once again, that I am a creature of habit and apparently my taste does not vary greatly.

This year's leaf and last year's leaf.

Redheads DO Have More Fun

2006-10-22T11:15:00.000-05:00

It looks quite RED in these pics, it is red, but it's mostly dark, in reality. I decided, Shit, I'm pale, it's frickin Winter in Wisconsin, it's time I get real and ROCK THE PALENESS! Honestly, it's kinda' shocking right now, it will fade a little, but as I get used to it, I hope it doesn't. I love it, Doug thinks it's hot, Mom got used to it and loved it, Dad hates it -- he doesn't like my hair anything but blonde, sorry Daddy, I haven't been a natural blonde in years! He'll get over it.

WOoo Redheads!

Cheers to Fall Hair Coloring!

2006-10-21T10:12:00.000-05:00

I think this picture was taken around the time of my 21st Birthday, yes, yes it was -- excuse me for not remembering the time clearly, due to the celebration that ensued. I want to die my hair brownish, goldish, redish and like a typical woman, I want it done yesterday. I'd do it myself, but as you can see, I'm not exactly sure what color I want it to be. So, I'm handing it over to "the professionals." For me, a true sign of success is paying for your own hair cuts/colors and buying a whole pizza just for yourself, without feeling guilty. Yeah success!

~~~

I was able to get a place to squeeze me in today (Side Note: when the hell are you supposed to go to appointments when you work full time?? Anyone, ..anyone?) and I have to be there in a little over an hour, so I best clean off the funk smell and fuel the tank. Hopefully it goes well, although, I think I'd be pretty happy with anything at this point, I've always wanted black hair, or red hair would be interesting, I know blue and purple don't fly with my work dress code = bummer.

An Airport Express Lane for Low-Maintenance Travelers

2006-10-18T18:27:00.000-05:00

I may be somewhat emotionally high maintenance at times, HOWEVER, if you've ever traveled anywhere with me, you know that I am not a high maintenance traveler! I think more than two pairs of shoes is excessive, I pack everything into the smallest of suitcases, a book and some tunes are more than sufficient for the plane, and even though they have stopped feeding flyers - I don't feel the need to pack a picnic for my purse.

The thing that bothered me the most (trust me it was hard to choose) about flying was EVERYONE'S INSANE NEED to bring 3 carry-on bags, 2 coats, a cart of groceries, and 5 electronic devices on board with them!! They completely muck up everything and I'm convinced they are the only reason planes are delayed. I couldn't help thinking that if the plane crashed on a deserted island I would rather die a slow death than be stuck with any of these needy crazies! (Although, the kids seemed pretty cool, they had sweet Game Boys, and kids can do no wrong by me anyway...). They should have an Express Lane for Low-Maintenance Travelers, hmm, perhaps even an Express Airline! Seriously, with all of the time and money they'd save maybe they could actually provide food again for your $500 flight.

(P.S. -- I wrote this post on a drink napkin while high up in the sky)

BOSTON BABY!

2006-10-12T18:11:00.000-05:00

Yup, tomorrow I fly off to Boston. I absolutely cannot wait to see Em and OHIO, and to actually spend a few days in Boston. The cold and the pace of my life have gotten me a little frazzled, as of late, and I think this Business/Pleasure Excursion may be just what I need. Do you ever get a little confused with how good things are but how much some things suck and how work is hard yet I'm still grateful to have a real job and blah blah blah I'm so sickoftryingtoassesswhatIwantandwhatI'mgoodat and AH! Shut up, already! I'm hoping this trip will inject me with a little perspective, or at least, a few stiff drinks :)

I'll be back in less than a week with, hopefully, a few pics and definitely a good story or two.

BON VOYAGE ..indeed.

Bitch-ass Cold!

2006-10-12T06:37:00.000-05:00

It is 28 degrees. I have to wear my Cuddle Duds. Today is a sad, sad day...

SPOILED 2: Perfection

2006-10-11T17:49:00.000-05:00

Look at what my parents did while I was at work yesterday :) When I got to my car, I noticed that it looked sparkly, that the seat had been moved, that the emergency brake was pulled too hard, and that classical music was inappropriately coming out of Cammy's speakers... it took me another couple minutes of driving to finally figure out that this was all because the door had been replaced! I yelled and laughed and felt ridiculously special. It's a perfect match.

I don't know what happened to the car that the door was donated from, which is kind of sad, because I'd like to know the story, and would like the owner to know that at least the door was saved and is now loved.

I can finally put it all behind me (it was hard to look at every time I went to get in my car), and whoever you are out there who hit-and-ran my Cammy, I still think you deserve a beating for being a moron, but I forgive you.

(The yellow is all of the "sunlight" reflecting off - in case you weren't sure)