Dreaming of Summer, paradise, water, and cattails. I used to imagine tropical vacations and exotic destinations to help myself fall asleep at night. Then in college, once we moved from home, I found myself being drawn to images of my pond - my secluded haven - to lull myself away from reality: laying in the dead grass on the shore during the first days of Spring, docking the paddle boat on the hidden-from-view side with my radio and a book for hours, fishing on the dock with homemade hooks from modified pins, ice skating choreographed routines to my mixed tapes. That pond was beautiful year round, and always provided a needed distraction from the "real world." I think not having that now is what makes it so hard at this time of the year. When the days are short and the darkness is conducive to sleeping 10+ hours a day, I have a hard time finding a place where I can escape and I guess meditate, truthfully. Granted, there are numerous locations where I can find water in Madison, but none of them are secret and most of them are regulated by other people who have the privilege of deciding things like when the ice is safe for ice skating (which is apparently never, even in this North Pole simulation). So for now, I will try to work on being thankful that I have this lovely piece of artwork, made by my talented mother, with my soul as the inspiration. If I can't find true peace with myself right now, at least I can use some memories to get a sense of what it felt like.
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