Where to begin?

-- It is a question I ask myself often. Currently, it's in reference to me thinking about brushing off my resume and beginning the dreadful task of job searching, AGAIN. I finally have the motivation, for example: having to shut myself in the bathroom stall at work, in effort to keep from weeping about the fact that I have to make it through another hour let alone another day.

In any case, I still have no idea what I really want to do -- I was so fed up at lunch today that I forced myself to write a list of things I'm somewhat skilled at, as well as a list of things I like. Yeah, it sounded about as lame and pointless this afternoon as it did when I was in grade school, and it was. Basically, from what I could conclude about my lists, my career goal in life is to be a 7 year old kid. I'd like to be outside, play with fun/nice people, have the latest toys, create and organize things... and yep, that's about it.

I tried to think about what "experience" I've "gained" over less than a year in the job force. Well, I've learned, actually taught would be the right word - I've taught myself some interesting and useful things, but as far as "experience" goes I'd say I've mostly "experienced" denial, despair, and pessimism. Oh, and let's not leave out inefficiency. I do think I'd make an excellent Efficiency Expert! Is that what they call the people who analyze an organization and then fire all of the staff who perform absolutely NO beneficial function? I think I'd be great at that! I'd start with the people who say things like "...maybe we should have a meeting about that" and I'd tell them that if they or their employees that they "manage" actually completed their jobs at just a satisfactory level they wouldn't have to WASTE ALL OF MY DAMN TIME WITH THEIR UNPRODUCTIVE MEETINGS!!!

Ah... feeling better, as expected. I think that for now I will just stick it out where I am, and when I finally come across something that I might actually enjoy doing (that is a viable/legal profession) I will try to find a way to make it happen.