Peeing on Your Cell Phone

I was debating about what I wanted to post today...I figured I could talk about September 11th - what I was doing 5 years ago, discussions I've had about it today, etc., however, I don't feel like I have anything really new or constructive to say about the whole event.

So, I don't mean to seem insensitive or uncaring (it's not like 9/11 hasn't been on my mind), but the truth is, I'd rather post about my experience in the bathroom this afternoon:

It's after lunch and it is time for my can of Mt Dew prompted release of morning coffee pee. I walk into the public bathroom at the same time as this average enough, age 30ish, woman. We take take two stalls next to each other and already, the stage is set for awkwardness with the whole Who is Going to Pee First?: Social Pee Pressure thing. Well, before I can even fully relax my sphincter muscles HER CELL PHONE RINGS. It's a ring I recognize from my brother's phone, I'll call it "freaky deaky" as we once sampled it for a rap song we made up. My first thought is "Oh, doesn't she feel like an Oaf with that hideous cell phone ring going off in the bathroom!" Finally it's silent and I assume she's turned it off (resume peeing) and then, I HEAR HER SAY "Hello!" and as if that's not bad enough SHE CONTINUES PEEING!! "Tinkle tinkle blah blah blah tinkle tinkle tinkle."

I pinch it off (can a woman technically say that?) and quickly try to hurry out of there, in effort to prevent snide comments from vomiting out of my mouth, when I'm suddenly frozen by a thought: Do I flush the toilet while she's on the telephone? With my hand nervously hovering above the flusher I come to my senses and realize I am not the one being rude by PEEING IN THE BATHROOM and I give her a WOOooshing flush and make a mad dash for the door. While washing my hands I conclude she, and the caller, don't seem to be phased by my flush and Oh there she goes herself "WOOoosh!" !!! !! ! ...!

Now, don't get me wrong, peeing while on the phone AT HOME to your family/close friends, whatever, is totally fine BUTT PLEASE, do not ever think it is OK to include a stranger's bathroom activities in your phone calls. There is a time and a place people!! A TIME AND A PLACE!

PS- To the people who talk loudly on their cell phones in inescapable, tiny, communal places (ie. in the bathroom, on the bus, in the elevator, in line at the store): YOUR STORIES SUCK, YOUR VOICE SUCKS, AND YOU SUCK!