I hate shopping

I thought my disdain for the sport was purely due to years of being a poor college student - week after week, sacrificing a trip to the mall for a trip to Woodman's where I'd budget wisely and purchase my 30-pack of High Life to get me through the weekend. Ah, but alas, it seems I truly have hate in my blood for shopping.

Or at least shopping alone. I believe my solo status was mostly to blame for the overall awfulness of the activity, today. When I'm by myself I don't purchase wisely. Last time I went shopping sans supervision, I bought a swimsuit that I've come to realize is slightly pornographic in coverage, or lack there of.

Furthering my poor decision making, I began my trip by scouring over another ridiculous bridal registry. The only gift I could actually see the couple using was a book on cocktails which, of course, they did not have in stock. I eventually found something in my price range and got the hell out of there ASAP to keep myself from attacking people with stainless steel cheese graters.

Then, it was on to dress shopping. It is sometimes insanely difficult for me to find something that fits my body type. Not to mention, I already had a dress in mind: a simple blue (navy blue?) knee length dress with a square cut neckline and no sparkles, sequins, or pieces that tie. Ha! Dream on. Instead, I found tons of plunging v-neck, disco patterned, funky wrap/tie dresses that were altogether hideous.

After my first round of ugliness, I made an impulse purchase (the worst kind, obviously I was starting to bug out). I bought 20 DOLLAR MOISTURIZER!!! 20 DOLLARS?? Goodness, for that amount of money it should come in a gold container with diamond in-lays! This, from the girl who thought shampoo didn't matter (turns out it does) and bought Suave BECAUSE IT WAS THE CHEAPEST SHAMPOO ON THE SHELF. Honestly though, I'm not sure which was the crazier purchase...

In the end, after exiting the mall through the correct door, deciding it was not the correct door, going back through the mall to a different door, and walking for five minutes in the rain to find my car, I finally had a moment of clarity and thought of one last stop = Woodman's. My best purchases of the evening. Yes, I did pick up a sixer of High Life, for old times' sake, BUT, I also grabbed a mix of local brews in a Pick-Your-Own Variety Pack, to satisfy my more mature cravings.

Now, my friends, it is about time to take my Vanilla Porter out of the freezer and drink away the evil shopping memories still fresh in my brain.