Speed Blogging

I'm giving myself 20 minutes to type this post and then I'm seriously crashing. Thus far, moving has been one big bumble-fuck of fun! I got a call from my new landlord on Monday saying that I could pick my key up a day early. I'm so grateful that Amanda is giving me the week to move out, but regardless, I'd never be able to do it without Doug. We're through day three and we're not only still together...we're actually kind of having fun, if you can believe that. So, where are my parents? you ask. You know, those people who are bound by blood to do all sorts of hellish things for you for free -- yeah, they're somewhere off the coast of Lake Michigan enjoying a week of vacation, neat, perfect timing.

Anyway, so Monday I get off the bus and rush home in the 90 degree heat to quick change and meet my new landlord. I'm already all riled-up because Creepy McCreeperson sat next to me on the bus (WHEN THERE WERE PLENTY OF OPEN SEATS) and all I could think about while I pretended to read my book was that I'd pop him in the face if he so much as breathed on me wrong. I finally get home, change, chug some Gatorade and head out. In the stairwell I run smack into a trapped birdy who is wildly slamming himself into the sealed window in a sad attempt to escape. I try to shoe him out toward the exit with my folder saying "Come on little guy" and he flies up to the next floor window. I take the elevator up a floor and try to chase him down and I believe my mission was successful, though I did not get down in time to see him fly out for sure. Whatever, I'm late and now drenched in sweat. I get to my car and almost pass out when I sit down to the oven inside "click, click, click, click, click" my fucking battery is dead because my auto off headlights have not been AUTO OFFING, yup, this was all before my first rent check was even signed.

Ah, I do feel like I'm making progress, pinched a nerve in my neck reaching under my bed this eve, but hey, things could be worse. I saw a Dad get trapped under a desk today when he tripped out the door of his Son's house. I was walking right by at the time, so I stopped and asked if he was alright and as he pulled his leg out from under the desk, he said "Yup, I think my pride is hurt more than anything..." The Son walked out at that point and said "Woah, why didn't you wait for me?!" I waited a block before I doubled over in laughter.

Alright, my 20 minutes is definitely up and I'm about to turn into a pumpkin! G'night everyone, and if you're in the area, call me Friday to check out my sweet-ass balcony.