A lot of things on my mind...

...and I'm trying not to let this be one of them: my doctor talked to me about getting genetic testing done to determine if I'll be likely to get breast cancer in the future. She went through all of the Pros and Cons to going through with it (being aware, insurance issues, etc.) and her words just keep swimming around in my head.

My Mom had a tiny cancerous lump removed when I was in high school and my paternal Grandma had a much more serious surgery when she had breast cancer. They are both cancer-free and have been for years. I talked to my Mom about it on Easter and she said that she'd gone to see a geneticist after her bout with breast cancer and they had informed her that my likelihood of getting it really didn't increase at all based on all of the variables. I had thought that was the case, so I'm not all that concerned about my future.

However, the thing that is getting to me, is just the idea of knowing. I can't fathom how knowing such a thing would ever be good for someone. Especially, if that person is already taking the available precautions. For me personally, I always disliked getting grades on exams or papers back in the middle of the semester. I figured if it was a good grade, I wouldn't want it to alter the effort I'm putting forth, and, if it was a bad grade, I wouldn't want it to alter the effort I'm putting forth! Plus, if it was bad I never saw the point in ruining a perfectly good day.

I guess that's the way I feel about the whole genetic testing thing, if I'm already aware of the risk and managing it properly, what's the point in finding out that I don't have to be so cautious (I'm not more likely to get it), or, finding out that it is highly possible and shitting all over a perfectly good day?