It seems I experience a creative drought when it comes to making adult jewelry. I'll get out all of my beads, wire, and tools and then just feel way overwhelmed by all of the options; totally unable to come up with any appealing combinations (kind of similar to my job search, or lack there of..) Luckily, I am still able to create pieces for my Fairy God-daughter, Sammie.
I trekked into my old job today to deliver these goods to my old boss (Sammie's Mom) and to go to lunch with Tracie and Margaret -- fortunately she has forgiven me for the post-its incident. It was great to catch up with them and great to get outta the house too. Since it was so sunny and nice out I even decided to continue my walk home and I ended up at the lake, the terrace, and the capital.
I got to thinking on my walk about the last time I truly felt like I had time to myself, without school and/or work. The only times I could think of were days when I skipped school or work! TOTALLY FREE DAYS to do with whatever I pleased. I sensed, at this point, that I was losing my focus as my only real task right now should be thinking about finding a job. Why was it so easy to be distracted from this? I wondered. I thought about applying for shitty part-time jobs in high school -- was I excited then, or at least motivated? I suppose I thought "This job will only be temporary, because I'll go to college and then I'll be able to get a job I actually want to do" BACK THE TRUCK UP. Apparently, looking for a job I actually want to do is far too ambitious, which probably has a lot to do with why I'm just not that pumped about it. I keep thinking "Hmm, well could I stand to do that job?" or "Maybe, I could pretend to want that position."
Even though I'm enjoying every second of my unemployment (I do have one more paycheck and the biggest tax return I've ever had coming my way, which certainly helps) I resolved at the end of my walk to put more effort into finding a job (maybe even one I'll like). Thus, after greeting the Postman on the way into my building I turned to him and asked:
Do you mind if I ask you a strange question?
No, of course not, there are no strange questions.
Do you like your job?
We ended up chatting for 20 minutes and it was probably one of the better conversations I've had about job hunting. Not sure I have a clearer impression of what the hell I'm going to do with myself but I do feel more inspired to investigate this whole job/future thing -- wish me luck!
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