Life is gooooooood

It's heavenly isn't it? Got my 30 pack of Heavies..well now 29, GULP, ok 28 and a 1/2

AND

I received this email from my brother today, yes our subject headings on Fridays are always lines from Point Break, deal with it.

Date: Friday, September 30, 2005
Subject: This is stimulating, but we're outta here!
He goes by many names: Bevo, Bevo Suave, Don Juan de Bevo, Steven Victor VonDoom, Bevo-unbelievo, the Bevocidal Maniac, Wheels, Stu, Stervie, the BigFantastic, Steven Rindl and, last but not least, Mr. Fucksuckshitasscock. Youknow who he is. Don't miss your chance to see him tonight, when he comes to apre-party near you.

So, I have Two Drawers full of beer AND Bevo is coming to visit us!! Could things BE more fun than this??

Watch Out EAST COAST

I'm thinking I should change the name of this blog to:

My Friends are Leaving Me -- Waaa!

This week we say farewell to AmandaFarland. Although Amanda has been out of the Madcity area for much of the past few years, I have always been able to find her in good ole Wisconsin, in a remote locale of a neighboring state, or way up in CANADA eh? Ah, but now she is embarking on another adventure. Off to Delaware she goes (for an AmeriCorp program), to get put up in some old mansion and to work at a Zoo.

I admire your spontaneity girl, you always make life interesting and fun. You HAVE TO keep me posted on the many Scavs and/or Drama-Queen-Boys you're messing with out there in "The First State," or any neighboring states for that matter! ...BE SAFE

love,

Your Formerly-Underage-Drinking-Buddy

Say what?

Out at the bar last night, Carlita and I were feeling a little low key, so when some male strangers asked us if we'd like to join their game of Black Jack we thought why not? After a few rounds of play, Carly and I were nearly comatose -- they were dealing ALL of the cards face up. Now I'm no card expert, but I don't believe that's the way you really want to play, AND we weren't playing for drinks or anything (THE AUDACITY). Thinking that we might need a change of scenery, we headed for a bar that was a little cozier where two of us could just chat (..or heatedly discuss FLASHBACK: "I'm going to the bathroom and you'd better DAMN WELL be here when I get back!" "I WILL!" "Fine." "Fine.")

Upon arrival at the next bar, we bought our drinks and decided to sit at the bar (probably our big mistake, in hindsight). Shortly after settling into our perch, another stranger approached us and started babbling "Bella! Bella..." he continued on in this manner with some sort of Italian/Spanish muddled mix. His act started to fall apart when I began to swear at him in Italian and he seemed to have no comprehension of any of the words I was saying. Eventually, he admitted that he was not a foreigner (no shit?) and evidently this was quite funny to him. He stumbled away laughing to himself while Carly and I exchanged looks of pure confusion.

As they say, "things come in threes" (Digression: now is that applicable to everything and anything.. or just bad things, not good things?? Anyone?). Almost immediately after wannabe-foreign-guy left us, this burlyish man appeared at my side and asked: "Have you ever met a mountain lion tamer?" I looked at Carly to make sure I was not hallucinating this and replied, "um Nooo.." to which he said, "Well, do you wanna meet a mountain lion tamer?"

Riddle me this - Are people like this all over the country? Or is it strictly a regional thing? Perhaps all of the freaks come out on Tuesday night? It's series of events like this which make me think I need a REAL change of scenery... but I suppose, there are freaks in every area code.

just my luck

After the wedding Saturday night, my dear pal Mikey convinced me to meet up with everyone at our favorite bar. When I arrived I was feeling strangely sober, having just finished off my flask of wine, and I was discouraged to discover a line to get in. However, I could see the gang at a booth through the window, dressed in their finest, Badger Reds and I decided it would not only be well worth it to join them, but exactly what I needed.

Unexpectedly, I found myself talking to this stranger who was also waiting to get in. I explained that I knew a lot of the staff at this bar and could probably just skip the line all together but then I'd just be the biggest loser and that wouldn't be nice. I concluded that he was not trying to pick me up (mostly because I just really wasn't in the mood) and that friendly conversation would, at least, make the time pass quicker while we were in line.

"By the way, I'm Brian."

"Brian. Nice to meet you, I'm Steph." (Good handshake, eye-contact, didn't provoke a fake name from me... not that I'm taking note or anything)

...

"Yeah, I actually live and work in Green Bay, but I did my undergrad here."

"Ah, yeah, I'm still in my undergrad here, but this is my last semester."

"Ooo, lemme guess... Psychology major!"

"Nope. Sociology."

"Oh, Sociology, close then. See how I did that? I got your major out of you without really asking for it!"

"Oh, I see, you think you're pretty smooth, huh?"

(and just as I'm starting to think: "hmm, he's really kinda cute..." he pulls out some sort of mobile device and says --)

"Um, yeah, and by the way, I'm ah not hitting on you, cuz I'm... married."

"Ah! Hahaha. Perfect, just perfect. Well, now my night has really come full circle!"

"Why, whaddya mean?"

"Well, I started my night out at a wedding, and now, I've got you telling me that you're married. Heh heh, ya know, I might even have to write about this on my blog.."

"You have a blog? Where can I find it?"

"You can't, because what fun would it be to write about you if you can read it?"

"Ah, well, I want to read it, here's my card with my website and email, you should email me a link to it."

"Uh huh, sure."

I go inside, chuckling to myself, and immediately head to the bar for a drink. I meet the crew at their booth and see that Brian and his friends are sitting DIRECTLY outside the window at a table. Out of the blue, this cute, little, cocktail waitress approaches me and asks --

"Are you Stephanie?"

"Um, yes..."

"Do you know that guy sitting right out there at that table?"

"Well, I ah, I just met him a minute ago his name is Brian.."

"He told me to come find you and buy you any drink you want, on him."

Needless to say, I was shocked, flattered, and a bit confused, but that's what I get for talking to cute strangers who are not hitting on me because they are MARRIED. Oh, and I totally checked out his website -- I don't even have to try to stalk people anymore, they just willing hand me all of their info!

C'est la vie.

Congratulations Debbie & Scott

Weddings are so much fun, and this one was no exception. Debbie was my boss for quite some time, but most importantly, she is my friend. Between all of work we did together, we spent a lot of time sharing stories, confiding in one and other, and of course -- constantly talking about the important people in our lives. After everything I've learned about her over the years, I think it's safe for me to say that she and Scott are Meant For Each other.

It felt so good to be able to share in the unique-wonderfulness of their day. The two of them were radiating their love all over the place, I believe the word I kept using to describe Deb was "STUNNING."

Here's wishing you the best of life together. Hope you have an amazing honeymoon in Jamaica and do ENJOY the gift, it should serve newlyweds such as yourselves very nicely ;)

11:11 = make a wish!

I didn't have a wish again. Not for anything, anyone, anywhere. That's nothing new and only scratches the surface of my apathy. I don't mean to be so gloomy but I had to be so honest. If I didn't I might explode, or implode... I'm not sure. Overall, my quest, or rather my obligation, to find meaning has made me HATE the feeling of meaning. I try to make myself OK with not having meaning for certain aspects of my life and the only thing it has made me feel is that I'm drowning -- and I've Never been afraid of drowning. So where does that leave me?

song of the day

again last night i had that strange dream
where everything was exactly how it seemed
no concerns about the world getting warmer
people thought that they were just being rewarded
for treating others as they'd like to be treated
for obeying stops signs and curing diseases
for mailing letters with the address of the sender
now we can swim any day in november

don't wake me i plan on sleeping in...

-- "Sleeping In" The Postal Service: Give Up

no where to hide

Shit. I saw him again today at The Shell, damn he's cute! This time he looked like he recognized me (we did that akward glance-at-eachother-too-many-times-and-look-away thing). I have a sinking feeling that we'll continue running into eachother = JOY.

Happy Birthday Julia!

HARD to believe it was a year ago that you were digging into this giant co..ah cake! ;) Who is that girl with the long brown hair anyway? Well hope you have a great 22nd Birthday. Miss you and wish I could celebrate with you tonight.

Here's a hug to you from Madison! By the way, my calendar from last year says: "Julia's 21st! = A SUCCESS!" I don't really remember what that means... besides getting drunk, anyone remember what we did for Julia's Birthday? I could use a little refreshing. Anyway, love ya miss ya and better see you soon -- you and your fiancé should come up for some Badger Game fun sometime!

no place to run to baby

While I was out on the ice this AM for my Ice Skating Class, these strobe-ish lights began flashing and some sort of alarm started sounding. My first suspicion, most likely a throw-back to my Roller Rink days, was that this commotion was some sort of precursor for music to start blasting through the ice rink!

I started preparing to break it down to "YMCA" when I realized that we were being ushered off the ice for a fire drill. Disappointed that there would be no dancing to The Village People AND confused as to what threat FIRE posed to individuals on ICE, I reluctantly glided my way out of the rink with my peers.

So, we were standing in the doorway of The Shell with other fellow athletes who were waiting to get back to their workouts/activities when this young man in workout-attire walks up next to me. I immediately notice how good-looking he is, of course. Also, there's something familiar THEN IT HITS ME -- I know him. Met him at Brats one night but ditched him post-bar. He had seemed quite nice and we had exchanged digits and all... but there is something increasingly appealing about going home alone (OR with platonic friends) and very comfortable about going to sleep alone. (I know, WHO AM I?!)

Anyway, I turned to the wall to conceal my mouth-agape expression and when I turned back HE LEANED TO ME AND ASKED if the fire drill had been going on long. I searched his face for any trace of recognition while quickly informing him that the drill had just started and should be over soon. I thought I caught a glimmer of memory passing through his gorgeous eyes, but what was there to say?

"Hey, remember me? I ditched you after Brats that one night. You'd have made excellent one-night-stand material, BUT I'm just not into that right now..." ???

I have to laugh at encounters like that. I suppose I should be used to it since they happen to me all the time, but MAN, ice skating?! Now that I'm over my crush on my TA (RIGHT) I thought Ice Skating Class would be a safe-haven free from Sudden Fool Syndrome!

where is the love

The whole way home I tried to think of something ANYTH --(ahh hahahaha ha! this is where I had to run from my room to make it to the bathroom in time to officially christen our new apartment). Yes, I puked up a whole double gin & tonic to the Porcelain God last night and thus, I am able to function at 8:30 this morning. I know I was in bed pretty much until 2PM yesterday but today I feel pretty good... or still drunk, ANYWAY I think that the title for this post and the line that starts it are just hilarious so I left them, but really this post has nothing to do with whatever was consuming my poor puking soul last night. Instead, I want to document these phone messages because I love them and they make me laugh.

It all started when I left this message for my dear Emily yesterday evening:
You whore.
I'm sitting here watching videos and that Coldplay song "Fix You" is playing.
This is the one that you ball your eyes out to when you're driving, right?
Yeah, well, I suddenly realized that it was your song... and that line:
"Tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace"
You bitch, I'm trying to put on make-up and the whole trying not to cry thing isn't making it any easier!
So yeah, just had to tell you that.
It's a beautiful song.
I love you.
Talk to you later.

This one message spurred the three messages I listened to in bed this morning, I do believe Em and I actually spoke once last night, but I honestly don't remember how that conversation went. Here they are:

12:33AM
(music blaring)
Steph, I love you.
I'm at a bar.. and I'm with tons of hot guys
and I don't even know how to like flirt
cuz I'm retarded
and I love you
and I, I listened to your message earlier and I love that you think about me
on, on a daily routine
you don't know how much that means to me
cuz like no one else calls me
to tell me that they love me or that they're thinking about me
and you called me today and I started crying
cuz I was like Oh my god, Steph, she thinks about me on a daily basis
and that Coldplay song is fucking awesome
if I listened to it right now I'd probably like cry
like it was... like I gave birth, honestly
but I love you
please call me back, I love you, I love you
mwa!

1:18AM
Hey you turned your phone off and I love you
but that's ok that you turned your phone off cuz way to be
cuz you don't have it on every second cuz that just means you're a follower
I love you for turning it off
cuz you are with the people you love you should turn it off
but I hope you're having fun call me back tonight or tomorrow
tonight, is like two something for me
but tomorrow, if you wanna call back at some other ah number you can feel free to
I don't even know what I'm talking about I'm talking gibberish!
I am so drunk it's unbelievable
Ok, but I know enough to call you and say I love you
so, and I got your message today about the Coldplay song
and yes if I listened to it right now I'd probably ball my eyes out
so I'm not going to listen to it right now
but it's a great song
I love you
Good night
Bye

2:07AM
(incoherent) What's up?
I have to be really quiet right now
Steph, I HEART YOU and so does Jen
Jen wants to say hi
(say you heart me)
I, I heart you and
I heart Emily
and I heart everyone here
this is Jen, you don't know me
but you're from Wisconsin
and can I tell you how cool that is?
cuz I heart cows!
like seriously, do you know how cool they are?
they give us SO much and we don't do anything for them!
like, they give us milk and yogurt and ice cream
and, and then like people do get that soy crap
and I'm just like why would you do that when
cows provide a perfectly good ice cream
(do you get the soy crap?)
I don't get the soy crap! Do you get the soy crap?
(NO, that's Deb)
I'm sorry I'm still talking to you!
Deb, our roommate, she gets soy crap, but she's not here so we can talk about her
anyway, I like her, don't get me wrong
um Ok no cuz we love Deb, we love Deb!
ok I'm gonna go McFuckel
is it McFuckel?
McFuckel, I hope you're doing good
Bye
(Can I have my drink?)
(My drink!)

It was so good to hear Emily drunk! I'm glad she's having fun and I'm glad she's meeting nice people who love cows. Those messages were priceless and I love having a cell phone to record them, however, I hate the fact that they are deleted after just two weeks! I tried before to save a sweet message Em left me when she was driving out to the east coast, just to have her voice to hear if I was missing her, but alas when it's two weeks were up, it vanished into thin air. Ah, nothing is as good as the real thing anyway -- thanks for the messages Em, I look forward to when the lights will guide you home.

Bye Ryan

It was almost a year ago when we took this picture. I have it marked on my old calendar as "Game Day -- AEROBED FITS THREE!" Oh, how much fun did we have that day? With no tickets to the game, and no live broadcast to watch on TV, the three of us made the most of it by drinking beer, eating pizza, and laying out in the sun all afternoon "listening" to the game :) Life was rough, obviously. In a way that day seems like just yesterday as I remember many details, even though I was in a heavily intoxicated state... but it also seems like forever ago as so many fun memories have passed in between.

Speaking of forever ago, remember our Wednesday Night Drunks?! I'm almost positive this picture comes from one of those special nights. Thanks for being such an avid supporter of our Wednesday Nights Ryan, you shared in our sentiment that Thirsty Thursday was way too far away and a celebration in the middle of the week was much more appropriate. We had some drunken good times around our table and at the Shed -- since we went there frequently, until we were all 21 at least.

Now, we're sending you off to Cali again. Good luck at Stanford, I'm sure you won't need it. Be good, if that's at all possible AND most importantly, don't forget about your friends at home. I look forward to hearing about your journey, keep in touch!

love ~ Stephanie Darling

Here you go Duck!

Ducky and I have been drunk dialing each other just about every Friday & Saturday since she left for VEGAS. Usually, our conversations are belligerent and incoherent and often involve singing...if it can be called that.

Yesterday, Ducky called me just before nightfall which insured we'd both be sober (well at least on a week night... well a week night other than Friday or sometimes Wednesday or Thursday, WHATEVER). We had a nice conversation and actually got to catch up for once. She said she reads my blog daily but she hasn't seen anything about her. I told her I'd be glad to change that, I'll do something right away.

She suggested I put a picture up, but maybe not one of the ones where she's flashing her boobs -- AH HA, I actually wasn't thinking about those until she mentioned them! ('those' being the pictures not her boobs...)

So, here's a little compromise, love ya' miss ya' Duck!

Thanks Kim!

We definitely had a good time with the Jager last Friday night, AND dressing up as "Jager Girls." All of it thanks to my awesome cousin Kim. Amanda and I started with the shots pretty much right when we got home from work Friday afternoon, so I was well on my way by the time our company started to arrive! (Amanda even took her first Power Shower, I'm so proud)

After a few more rounds of shots with everyone things start to get a little fuzzy, but Amanda, Tiff, Carly & I were all dedicated to wearing our new Jagermeister -- Shot Drinker tanks to the bar. On our way out I was stopped by this adorable girl who threw her arms around me and said she was a Red Bull Girl and had always wanted to meet a Jager Girl. I was a little too drunk to tell stories at this point (Carly and I... or should I say Buehla and Joleen are excellent at the stories -- ask me sometime about my biology major and how I'm pre-med!) so I told the little Red Bull Girl that I wasn't really a Jager Girl, I just had an awesome cousin who sent me lots of cool shit. She seemed to have had her fair share of alcohol as well by that point and didn't seem to mind that much, or perhaps, she didn't even hear me.

The next morning my family arrived at 9AM to start the pre-game festivities and my Bro was all pumped to do a Family Shot of Jager. I explained to him that there really wasn't any left, "WHAT?" he said, "You animals!" I had to remind him that HE was one of those animals and that he certainly had had his fair share the night before. Of course he's claiming sudden amnesia for just about everything from Friday night -- those smokers, coming up with excuses even when they've stopped smoking... JUST KIDDING BRO, way to go on the not smoking thing - love ya' :)

Anyway, all in all, we had a blast with the Jager and the Jager Goodies and the amusement continued on with Saturday night when we heard "Jager Girls!" being yelled at Carly and I when we walked past the bar we'd been at the previous night. Ah yes, it's a sign of a fantastic weekend when it starts Friday with Jager and doesn't really stop until 3-4AM Sunday morning.

GAME DAY

Wow, yesterday took a toll! It takes me a little while to get back into the swing of things every Badger Season. I mean we all know that I enjoy my liquor and am not one to resist partying for hours (days) straight, still... when people are calling me before 9AM on Saturday telling me I'd better be getting my drink on GO BADGERS woo, I have a hard time not thinking we're all crazy. Yesterday was so much fun though. I didn't feel the best when my alarm went off at 8AM, but after a good greasy burger and my first bloody mary I was ready to cheer on The Badgers!

I went to the game with my family -- I was going to tell them that if any of them mentioned my old, Perfect Pre-Game Apartment, I would have to physically beat them, but it turned out that I was the only one who talked about it! Although that place was excellent for our crazy pre-games, I'm surprised to admit that I didn't really miss it that much.



So far The Badgers are starting off the season quite well. I hope they continue on this winning streak as I continue getting more and more used to substituting my usual hangover treatment of gatorade with a beer or a bloody mary (or both, preferably).

Get Real

I miss you way too much
this just is not enough

HA. It's so easy to make up stupid punk songs. You wouldn't believe the collection I have. Shit. I was truly going to go somewhere with this whole digression...

I assume I was going to harp on people who think it's valuable to whine and profess false emotions, honestly, right now I could not care less if you believe in fairy tales or self-invented fantasies. Good for you! You're living in the world I was never accepted into.

Honestly, I've had a lot to drink tonight, therefore, who knows what I really think?

Let us pay homage to some old wisdom:

She was positive that she had seen him on the street today, absolutely positive ...actually, that statement couldn’t be further from the truth. Since the Second Ending, she’d “seen” him twice. “Seen,” by definition, meant that she’d noticed a young man about HIS height & build, with HIS hair color & style. Yup, those were pretty much the only observations she could honestly confirm. Due to her momentary lapses of sanity, upon encounter, she would hastily decide it was best to pretend that she did not see him at all (if, in fact, he truly was in her presence). Then, as the day/night would wear on (much like the enduring lapse of sanity) she would torment herself with whether or not it was indeed HIM she saw and why in this Mutha F-ing world she cared in the first place. After a barrage of “what if I’d said…” scenarios, and “what the F is my F-ing problem?” conversations she was left unsatisfied with the whole damned thing. Faced with a fate that seemed unavoidable save for death or murder (or the less dramatic: relocation or seclusion) she concluded that she was going to have to live with the fact either that this was brutal punishment for her mistakes in a past life, or perhaps, she was destined to find hope for the day when she would not “see” or think of him ever again.

(Currently, her plan involves killing mass amounts of brain cells with alcohol to speed up the latter and she fantasizes about the future when she’ll be able to afford a good hypnotist).

Oh, I just love that story. It may be non-fiction or it may not be. Nonetheless, it's real and it's great to me, which is all that matters.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T!!

Tiff, the Chiff Chiff Biff. Only you and I can truly know the significance of that. ANYWAY -- happy frickin birthday Tiffy!! I had a great time with you and the kids tonight, nonetheless, I'm very happy that Carlita Mae My Darling Dearest had me call a Safe Cab because that ROCKED and was extremely SAFE. Thank you my love.
Tiffany Nicole -- I can't believe how fast time has gone by since you've come back into our lives, but don't think that means that I've taken one second for granted! I've had such a blast with you back in Madison and it's even better now that you live downtown. I love that it worked out for you and Carly to be roommates, I am overjoyed with the fact that two of my favorite people live together AND close by.
So here's a Dirty Girl Scout shot for you! Happy 22nd (yes, that's right 22nd assholes!) Chiffy. May there be many more DGS shots to come. Love you with all of my heart ~ Stephy

Summertime ...the livin' was easy

Tomorrow I start MY LAST SEMESTER OF SCHOOL -- yes, I'm afraid it will be written like that any time I write about it from now on, deal ...I'm working on it! I keep telling everyone that I need this LAST SEMESTER to really get college out of my system. Hopefully, that's the truth. One of my bosses pointed out that it's actually only 4 months until I graduate = holy shit. I know I will make the most of it, I always say that first semester is the best anyway, but before I descend into my second favorite season (Badger Football Season) I'd like to reflect on another amazing and totally unpredictable summer.

The first surprise of the summer, was the unexpected visit from my cousin Troy. Since Troy had moved to Florida quite a few years ago, we really hadn't seen much of each other. However, his move back home to North Dakota has provided us with a chance to resume the close bond we had growing up. I know things aren't ideal for you right now Troyboy, but remember your baby cousin will always love ya.

Besides the spontaneity of summer, one of my favorite things about the sunny season is being able to spend more time with my favorite people. Whether we were going to Concerts on the Square, getting together at Grant's for the 4th of July, driving hundreds of miles to visit with OHIO, or just enjoying a quality afternoon drinking poolside -- I loved every second I spent with those smiling faces! Here are a couple favorites from Summer 2005:

Happy 4th of July! Thanks to Tim for under-cooking all of our meat = YUM.

One of many interesting Catch Phrase rounds.

Ah yes, an OHIO boy sandwich = an excellent place to be. Love ya Burnsy and Timmy!

Another beautiful day drinking beer at the Union.

Slightly intoxicated at a fav bar with some fav people.

Proof again that you can get Emily to do anything after a few stiff drinks.

This whole scene is made even funnier by the fact that you're claustrophobic Beck :)

Help

AP - Fri Sep 2, 3:40 PM ET
Sheila Dixon of New Orleans weeps as she clutches her 18-month-old daughter Emily as they sit on the side of Interstate-10 after being airlifted out of flood besieged New Orleans on Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005. Dixon wept uncontrollably, saying that everything she had was lost and not idea where she was being taken. (AP Photo/Dave Martin)

AP - Thu Sep 1, 7:13 PM ET
A man holds up a sign asking for help along a street Wednesday Sept. 1, 2005 following Hurricane Katrina in Biloxi, Miss. (AP Photo/Rob Carr)

I'm finding it difficult to put into words how Hurricane Katrina has effected me since the whole thing is beyond anything I can possibly fathom. Therefore, I am posting these pictures and some helpful links to BEGIN my endeavor to give support to the victims.

American Red Cross

Salvation Army

StormAID

• How to Help Locally (Madison)