My dear Shmemily

I'm really getting sick of all these good-byes Em... When I told you tonight that I didn't want you to leave, I meant it. I want you to change your big plans to move far away from us and rearrange your life so that my heart stops hurting from missing you so much. I know that doesn't make any sense and it's time to let you go, FLY MY LITTLE BIRDIE BE FREE, but don't ever forget that you can always come home and when you do visit we will enjoy every precious moment to the fullest. I love you. Ok, enough being mushy or I'll start weeping all over my keyboard. On to the pics!
Oh man, the very beginning of the famous Wisconsin Triple Kiss -- yes, that's right, I have to give Em and I credit for starting it down in Panama City our Freshman year. Check out our expressions, we're thinking "Oh my, I can't believe we just did that!" how silly of us for being so shocked and how funny that we started something that Spring Break that, not only won the adoration of some Ohio Boys, but also followed us throughout our college years! By the way Em, check out who's wearing OUR shirt in that picture.. I know I gave it to you, but I'd still like to think of it as ours :)

Speaking of those Ohio Boys, I know time has gone by fast since that first road trip to Panama City, but can you believe how many times we've hung out with those crazies since?? This pic is from our very first visit to Ohio. I always refer to it as "our engagement picture" -- we make a pretty sweet couple. I guess seeing how much we've changed and grown between then and now really does prove that we weren't jipped out of any time together, still I can't help feeling like I went to bed one night with all sorts of college play time left and woke up the next day to it all coming to a close. It's really unbelievable how much fun we've had together, I feel so lucky to be me and so lucky to have you. Alright, getting a little sappy here again, so this is where I'm going to cue our song (Sunday Morning - No Doubt) and roll some of my fav pics of us:

Jamaica mon! Notice the lovely pink tank top (also OURS).

Matching flasks for Christmas, oh how our friends know us so well!

I know people mistake us for sisters on occasion, I don't really see it, but I have to say again what a cute pair we are.

My Shmemers, I love the fact that we can get you tanked off of anything frozen, alcoholic, and tasty. Margaritas are a favorite of course. Thanks for providing me with such wonderful entertainment. We may have annoyed everyone at the supermarket that evening with our crazy shopping cart taxi and low-rider bike riding (all carried out while wearing skirts, we're such ladies = BURP!) but it's safe to say that the memories I have of that night will keep me smiling for a long time, even when I'm really missing you. I love you a lot sweet lady, here's wishing you the best of luck in the real world and one last kiss for good measure. MWA!

One drunk post deserves a drunk IM!

Ahahahahaha! I always claim that I'm going to make breathalizers for computers, oh but then we would miss out on things like this little GEM:

(I heart you too Rah! Names may have been altered to protect the... eh, innocent)



Sarahbeth: well, hello.. i'm drunk and i'm sure that you are too ... tear.. befcause we are not drunk togetherr :-)

Sarahbeth: oops i mean sad face :-( because it's a sad thing...

Sarahbeth: anyway how are you??? i ve been worklng like no toehr and stuff and i cant wait for school c'asue thaen i wiil work less.. tonight i was showing my friend justin all of my photos from hs.. and well, he was like passin gout , but i had fun.. and i was all missing all the good time3s and such

Sarahbeth: i'm really nervous to geraduate.. but i'm pumped about possibly getting that job at vs corporate .. even if i do have to move to ohio... sad.. atleast there are nice boys that i heart there.

Sarahbeth: you will have to come and visit.. or move there with me.. i'm sure that we could set up a bar just as easily as we could in jamaca

Sarahbeth: danger.. adn we could comeup with our own shots and name them danger names such assssssss.... danger down town shot... and like banana wanna ramm ya shot.. and like please be a cock tease shot.. you knwo i'm sure that we could do it like none other!!!!!!

Sarahbeth: clearly now i'm just drunkin ' rambling.. and i should prolly stop talkling.. but i heart talking to you.. and thus i will continue..... sooo.. ummmm.. how's it going

Sarahbeth: :-)

Sarahbeth: danger smily

Sarahbeth: :-)

Sarahbeth: ooo.. there's another.. wherea are they coming from????

Sarahbeth: do you think that it's always the same smily.. or eachtime its a different pooping up to say hello??? like

Sarahbeth: :-)

Sarahbeth: that was fred....

Sarahbeth: and :-)

Sarahbeth: that was bob

Sarahbeth: and oooooo danger..... :-)

Sarahbeth: theres wanda????

Sarahbeth: it could happen right?

Sarahbeth: any way... this better end somewhere in you little blog or whatever.. i'll be reading and watching and waiting...

Sarahbeth: yeah that's right i'll be stalkilng your ass.. and you'll heart that

Sarahbeth: ooooo

Sarahbeth: i'm gonna be embarassed of what i've written tonight soooo... ahhhh lyeat.. oops that i don' tknow what that word was.. it slipped out i think..lol.. heheheh...lol

Sarahbeth: k ggngiht

Sarahbeth signed off at 4:36:53 AM.

So I'm slightly buzzed, sue me

I want to call you but I won't. I have your number in a semi-secret location so that it is slightly more difficult to retrieve. I've done so good up to this point, no sense in giving in now (the voice in my head shouts "OR IS THERE?"). What would I say anyway? I miss you = big fucking deal.

Do you ever feel that no statement is ever as poignant as you want it to be, and no emotion ever has as much meaning as you imagine? Why do we feel the need to assign significance to purely insignificant events?

I've criticized myself for not being able to tell someone articulately how I feel, maybe there isn't anything to articulate or feel in the first place.

You're my obsession

Laurel and I have been known to become quite obsessed with a number of things (and people) before -- some of you are reading this and saying "No Shit." Last summer we were obsessed with the murdered pregnant ladies. I'm not trying to be insensitive by stating it that way, it's just that, well, we were obsessed with the murdered pregnant ladies! We swapped every detail discussed at length who said what? did what? seemed suspicious...

This summer our obvious obsession is BLOGS, blogging, bloggers. Depicted by Laurel's sad observation in the following email:

Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2005 1:36 pm
Subject: Re: yeah...
how lame are we? .....these are now our typical drunk conversations:

"Did you read Dooce the other day!? oh my gosh, LETA is so cute--and Jon what a sweetheart, and oh my God, blah blah blah, septic tank poopy red hair color.....blah blah blah..."

"I sent you mail at work, hehehe, (snicker snicker)...Interdepartmental mail rules!! We are so sneaky!" snicker snicker..."

"Oh my gosh, did read so and so's blog today?"

"Ahh, I LOVED your recent post, the pictures, the description--ALL WONDERFUL, how did you get the link to do that, and how do you add to your profile, I looked at this other guy's template the other day, blah blah blah..."

• I told Laurel that I'd try to "raunch" up our drunk convos this weekend (hopefully up north), and I suggested she do the same :)

SIX FEET UNDER

http://www.hbo.com/sixfeetunder/credits/index.shtml

Last night we watched the Series Finale of SIX FEET UNDER. I bawled my eyes out. To lots of people I'm sure it was just a show, entertainment. To me it was life, smacking me in the face and asking me the question I never have an answer to "Life is frickin short, what do you want?" Don't get me wrong I love my life as a student. Though it may not seem like it, I've really enjoyed most of my classes and being on campus is one of my favorite places to be -- I often can't wipe the goofy grin off of my face when I'm walking from building to building. Nonetheless, I don't think of myself as a student first and foremost and I can't escape the nagging feeling not that I should be doing something else but that maybe I should want to do something else. I don't really want anything (...because wanting something would mean that I could be disappointed if I didn't get it? FUCK. Why is that so easy for me to say, yet, completely impossible for me to change?).

http://www.hbo.com/sixfeetunder/artwork/

I totally identify with Claire's character, her endeavors to be someone and do something. With just one semester left, I'd better find something to do with myself because my comfortable life as a college student is about to be over, abruptly. The thing that I admire most about Claire is that she isn't afraid to make mistakes and she doesn't apologize for making them. I can't seem to grant myself that much freedom.

I couldn't wait to get off of work today to run over and get the Six Feet Under Soundtrack. It's my final attempt to hold on to a little piece of a show that truly occupied a meaningful part of my life. The soundtrack is blasting in the background right now as I type this. I absolutely love it.

BEVO

It's been over ten years that I've known you Steve -- that's just nuts -- and we started riding the bus together even before that! Truly though, we became friends when you and my bro first moved into the dorms SEVEN YEARS AGO. What a blast we had visiting you guys when we were still just little high schoolers. Of course, we had ridiculously early curfews which put a bit of a limit on how much trouble we could get into. Eventually, we youngins went off to college and I had the great privilege of living across the street from you and Dan, I can't count how many times Julia and I puked and passed out before you guys had even left for the bars! Thanks for, eh, teaching us how to drink and showing us the ropes downtown, we couldn't have asked for better tutors.

My best memories with you, Steve-o, Bevo, Beev, are hanging out at The Vintage and staying up all night for some crazy post-bars (even when the cops tried to shut us down we showed them by breaking shit, YEAH!). Now, it's hard to believe, but I'm almost done with school and you're going off to grad school. Good luck at Indiana State, Steve, like you need luck when you've obviously got the big brains!

You've been a great best friend to Dan and like a second older brother to me. We'll probably have to give you a call tonight after the SEASON FINALE of Six Feet Under, as long as we're not too weepy about No More Bevo and No More Six Feet Under...

Thanks for all the laughs Steve, you will certainly be missed.

love,
Steph

8/18/05 Tornado

This one started off looking so innocent but the numerous tornadoes that hit Wisconsin yesterday were incredibly destructive. Causing one fatality and destroying over 30 homes in Stoughton alone, these tornadoes were a force to be reckoned with.

For a complete slideshow, where I found these images, check out:
http://www.wkowtv.com/index.php/photoviewer/tornado-081805/

It was hard to concentrate at work today, and for once not just because it was a Friday, we couldn't stop talking about what had happened; what we'd heard or seen, and what our own, personal, experiences had been with tornadoes. Laurel sent me an email of her eye-witness account of yesterday's events and agreed to let me post it:

Jered, his dad, and I, we all went to dinner at this place called Springer’s (in Stoughton), it's where my sister waitresses, used to be the old Sunnyside, ya know? Anyway, it's Mexican night there, we sit down, and just as I'm deciding that I want the Enchilada dinner, I hear someone say, "Holy shit, look out the window".... (remember this place is on the lake)....and low and behold, THERE IS A FREAKING TORNADO circling on land ACROSS the lake from us--I MEAN A REAL ASS M-FUCKING FUNNEL CLOUD. It's ready to touch down, and it's forming a definite tornado...so I'm like "Jered, Dan!! HOLY SHIT! There's a tornado!" (AND REMEMBER, this is RIGHT after they called off the tornado warning in DANE COUNTY!--go freakin' figure!) But then everyone crowds to the window, the waitresses are freaking shit, and they're like, “No one can go home, everyone stay in the building.” So I'm like AHHH! and I run towards the bathrooms, but then everyone is still watching it, so I'm like, okay...I guess it's still far enough away, but what if it just comes across the freaking lake at us!?? (I know, very unlikely, if not impossible)...so I'm like HOLY SHIT! This is amazing, and we could watch it clearly, as it touched down, you could see it grinding on the ground, and ripping things up--I could LITERALLY see roofs off houses being blown around and getting sucked up into the monster. It was TERRIFYING...I couldn't believe my eyes, it all felt like a dream. So the tornado keeps doing it's thing, it's lifting up, looks like it's going to vanish into thin air, and then it comes back down, grinds on the ground, picks up more and makes homes into debris. It was circling the lake like it was on a mission for the restaurant we were at, I'm not joking, it was circling counter-clockwise around the lake, and pretty soon it's at like 7 o’clock... and everyone was screaming! "It's going to circle around, everyone, get down, get in the bathroom!" There was no basement at this place, so I felt so unsafe, and some people were acting like it was no big deal, ordering drinks still, BUT THERE WAS A FREAKING TORNADO COMING RIGHT FOR US. It got to be about a mile away as it circled around, and I'm not kidding, a mile away feels like it's in your back yard--this sucker was monstrous! It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Obviously we are fine, the tornado must have lifted then because all the sudden, everyone was walking around outside looking for it, and nothing...it was just gone--vanished. During this whole thing, people were calling others to warn them, some were telling their loved ones to get in the basement and that they love them. It was unreal. And when I thought about my family, I couldn't even stand it anymore. I thought I might have passed out from shock and I was feeling so nauseous and just like I was going to barf the entire time. It was crazy....

Email

Date: Thursday, August 18, 2005 12:51 pm
Subject: Re: Re:
Oh Loel, I wanna get outta here so bad to hang my shelves, go rollerblading, bake & eat some cod, paint my toenails, shower, get ready and GET MY FRICKIN DRINK ON!! (So tell me, where does a FRICKIN NAP fit in there??)

Date: Thursday, August 18, 2005 1:00pm
Subject: Re: Re:
Um, a frickin nap fits in there when you step back into the storage closet and get some shut eye. Now go, get 'er done, you motherfucker! What are they gonna do? Fire you!? Bring it on!

• I appreciate the advice, Loel, but our storage closet only has enough room for the rodents, insects, & fungi which call it home. NO REST FOR THE WICKED!

technological difficulties

Below is my conversation with my oh-so-shady cell phone company. Mind you this was after entering through a lot of automated bullshit and then being put on hold to wait for the next available representative all to the background music of "Wasting Time" by Dave Matthews Band.

"Yes, I was wondering if you could explain how I was charged for making a call to Winnipeg Canada when the person listed that I called lives in Santa Monica?"

"Well, the cell phone tower in Canada must have picked up your call so either you were in Canada or your friend was in Canada."

"No. You see, I was not in Canada and my friend LIVES IN SANTA MONICA... Am I supposed to be psychic about when a tower in Canada is going to pick up my call OR just never call her again?"

"No, it's not really possible for you to be psychic about what tower is going to pick up the call. Perhaps you live close to Winnipeg Canada where do you live?"

"I live in Madison, Wisconsin."

"Is that close to Winnipeg Canada? TOM, GET OUTTA HERE! I'M WORKING."

"NO. It is not"

"The only explanation I can give you is that a cell tower must have received the call, and you say that you weren't in Canada but perhaps your friend likes to travel a lot, or something."

(THIS IS THE PART IN THE CONVERSATION WHERE I WISH I COULD SAY I STARTED SLAMMING THE PHONE INTO THE DESK AND YELLING ALL SORTS OF APPROPRIATE EXPLETIVES IN A LAST-DITCH EFFORT TO CONVEY MY FRUSTRATION TO THIS DIPSHIT.)

Alas, this was not the case. Resolution still pending. Customer service, my ass.

...broke into the old apartment

Well we are officially out of our old apartment -- and I am officially having what I fear...no hope, no KNOW will be the first of many beers. I did good today, with the whole not-getting-weepy-thing. Had I stayed a moment longer the echoes of laughter from the past two years there would've really gotten to me. I can't believe we don't live there anymore, what a blast we had together. First, I should thank the three lovely ladies I lived with. Beck, Manders, Jules: you people are amazing and I can't imagine my life without you. We knew how to throw one helluva pre-game for our Wisconsin Badgers didn't we? (Can't believe we made my parents sign a contract to do a beer bong, what's more, they did it and did it well!!) The pre-games are just one portion of my memories at 1615, filled with beer, hot ham sandwiches, and me proclaiming "This is the best day ever, I love today!".

Another frequent occurrence, whose memory will continue to bring a smile to my face, were the Drunken Group Sleepovers. I was always excited to wake up to (or come home to) a train wreck of friends sprawled out all over our house. Whether just passed out after a post bar, homeless and in need of a place to sleep, or actually having planned to sleep over all along, it was great to have you guys there. I could reminisce about 1615 for hours but the demands of my new place (which I am gradually falling in love with) are calling me and I have already finished my first-of-many beer. Thanks for all of the memories guys, what a wonderfully-crazy, two years it has been.

AFTER THE FACT -- I found this written entry tonight 10/16/05 and I felt I had to add it to this post. Date: August 6th, 2005 = the last night in my second favorite house (I made sure I walked home one more time... I needed some solo moments for mourning).

I just ran into the door between the kitchen and the dinning room, it made me laugh and cry simultaneously. Neither of those responses had anything to do with the actual physical pain of the run-in. I don’t want to leave this place. I hate this. I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I seriously cannot figure out what my problem is! I'm kinda thinking that I need help, because I don’t think this is a normal reaction for someone in college, who has only lived here for TWO years. I don’t know what to do… but I hope I get my shit together.