Last night we watched the Series Finale of SIX FEET UNDER. I bawled my eyes out. To lots of people I'm sure it was just a show, entertainment. To me it was life, smacking me in the face and asking me the question I never have an answer to "Life is frickin short, what do you want?" Don't get me wrong I love my life as a student. Though it may not seem like it, I've really enjoyed most of my classes and being on campus is one of my favorite places to be -- I often can't wipe the goofy grin off of my face when I'm walking from building to building. Nonetheless, I don't think of myself as a student first and foremost and I can't escape the nagging feeling not that I should be doing something else but that maybe I should want to do something else. I don't really want anything (...because wanting something would mean that I could be disappointed if I didn't get it? FUCK. Why is that so easy for me to say, yet, completely impossible for me to change?).
http://www.hbo.com/sixfeetunder/artwork/
I totally identify with Claire's character, her endeavors to be someone and do something. With just one semester left, I'd better find something to do with myself because my comfortable life as a college student is about to be over, abruptly. The thing that I admire most about Claire is that she isn't afraid to make mistakes and she doesn't apologize for making them. I can't seem to grant myself that much freedom.
I couldn't wait to get off of work today to run over and get the Six Feet Under Soundtrack. It's my final attempt to hold on to a little piece of a show that truly occupied a meaningful part of my life. The soundtrack is blasting in the background right now as I type this. I absolutely love it.
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